Marriage Day 2: The Most Important Thing
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Life Over Coffee Devotions
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
What is the most important quality you would like to have in your marriage? Of all the qualities to choose from, there is one transcending quality that must be at the top of your list. That one transcending quality is God’s glory. If your desire to glorify God is the chief aim of your life and marriage, there is a fantastic chance you will experience a meaningful and satisfying relationship with your spouse, even should your spouse not meet all of your expectations. There is nothing that transcends this God-centered quality in His image bearers. Suppose your chief aim in life is to spread the fame of God. In that case, you can be comforted by the fact that even sin or non-sinful disappointments and letdowns will not overcome your dogged and steadfast determination to be like Jesus—a primary way to glorify God (Ephesians 5:1; 1 Corinthians 11:1). Whenever sin makes its advances, your determination to glorify God will win the war against sin’s intent. When the guardian of your heart is the glory of the Lord, you’re in the best place to be a good friend, a great lover, and a wonderful spouse. There are many tools available to help you more effectively glorify God. May I share three of them with you?
- Passion: Everyone is passionate about something, and that something—whatever it may be—defines them. Nobody lacks emotion. If you look long enough, you will recognize what makes a person emote. Perhaps it’s a desire to have a great job, rear spiritual children, or build a secure future, all good things. When it comes to living an effective Christian life, there must be a preeminent longing for His glory that is so high that all other loves look like hate by comparison (Luke 14:26-27).
- Repentance: Nobody has been able to pull off perfection but Jesus. Your lack of perfect sanctification means you and your spouse are imperfect sinners, even on your best days. Your spouse has sinned against you and God, and you have done similarly. You do not have to be discouraged by this reality if your chief aim is to glorify God. Glorifying God does not imply perfection. Living a perfect life is contrary to the Bible—for all have sinned (Romans 3:23)—and if anyone says they don’t sin, they are liars (1 John 1:7-10). But do not fear; there is good news. A person whose primary goal is to glorify God has a great backup plan because that person is a repenting individual. Though you will have lapses in judgment, as experienced by doing something unkind to your spouse, you will respond promptly with a broken-hearted confession (Psalm 51:17) and a request for forgiveness.
- Community: A God-impassioned, repenting person will seek similar companions because kind gravitates to kind. Let me state it another way: regardless of who you are, you will find your kind. The question then becomes, “What kind of people are you pursuing?” The Lord wired you with a herd mentality, which is why humans seek community. We reflect the image of the original community: Father, Son, and Spirit (Genesis 1:26-27). You can discern an individual by assessing their associations—the things they try to fill their lives with, whether it’s humans, media, or habits. Nobody intentionally surrounds themselves with things they do not like unless it’s unavoidable, e.g., your job.
Time to Reflect
- Does your desire to glorify God give you the wisdom and perseverance to spread the fame of God even when your marriage is not meeting your expectations? Please explain.
- How can you more effectively glorify God in your marriage, especially when things do not go your way?
Practical Suggestion
Rank the three tools I mentioned that help you glorify God—passion, repentance, and community. Which of those three do you need more help with in further development? Find a mentor (preferably your spouse) to create a plan to change what you need to change so you can more effectively spread God’s fame in your life and marriage. What does your spouse say about how your passion, repentance, and friends glorify God?
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Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
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