All relationships run the risk of disappointing you. And it does not matter what you know or how you interact with people. Our mutual fallenness leads to this universal fact: the closer you get to a person, the more you’ll be disappointed by them. Here are a few of those relational contexts.
The better you know them, the more you’ll experience their imperfections, which is why we’re all tempted to present “our representative” to others, that carefully edited person we hope they will find acceptable. The obvious problem in view here is with sin, which always brings division between people while tempting us to hide our authentic selves.
If you do not respond to sin biblically, you may yield to the temptation of creating “pockets of silence” in your relationships; you will start withholding information from those you should be closer to you. In time, you’ll start distancing yourself from those people.
For example, some spouses share more information about themselves with their friends than they do with their spouses. Cyber relationships are similar. The ultimate danger is that you may find someone else to build a relationship with because of the perceived openness and honesty that you have with them.
If you succumb to these temptations long enough, you will find out that your “new friends” are fallen too. And if you build a relationship with them in the real world, you’ll be in a familair boat in five to ten years.
Should I reveal everything to my spouse? Should I share my buried secrets and struggles with my spouse? Yes, no, and maybe. It depends on the maturity of your spouse. Jesus withheld information from many people due to relationship, maturity, and purpose.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).