Starting Points

This graphic titled “Starting Points” captures one of the most foundational, yet often overlooked, elements of soul care: accurately identifying where a person is spiritually. Whether you’re discipling a young believer, counseling a hurting spouse, or engaging a professing Christian in crisis, the trajectory of your care hinges on your clarity about their starting point. Without this clarity, your discipleship or counseling efforts may misfire, addressing fruit when you need to address root, or offering progressive sanctification when the person still needs conversion.

Two Categories: Evangelism or Sanctification?

The graphic presents a linear path with a dashed line dividing two categories:

• To the left is the unsaved person, someone who has not been regenerated by the Spirit, no matter how moral, religious, or churched they appear.
• To the right is the saved person, someone who has crossed from death to life (John 5:24), and is now walking in progressive sanctification.

The key is this: your starting point determines your care. You don’t disciple an unbeliever; you evangelize. Likewise, you don’t evangelize a regenerate struggler; you disciple. You must locate them before you can lead them.

A Charitable but Watchful Approach

When someone first comes to me, I begin with a charitable assumption: I presume they may be born again and simply struggling to grow in grace. Most people seeking biblical counseling or spiritual help do so because they think they are Christians, and they may be. However, my goal isn’t to confirm their self-assessment, but to discern where they truly stand with God.

And here’s the key: I don’t care where their starting point is, as long as I know it accurately. I’m not aiming to sort sheep and goats, only God sees the heart, but I am responsible to “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1), ask thoughtful questions, and shepherd according to truth. A wrong assumption here can unravel the entire process. If I presume someone is regenerate when they’re not, I may offer gospel benefits without a gospel foundation. That’s malpractice.

The Practicality of Knowing the Starting Point

This discernment shapes:

• The questions I ask (Are they resisting repentance? Or are they unsure how to apply truth?)
• The Scripture I share (Do I lead with gospel indicatives or sanctification imperatives?)
• The assumptions I challenge (Is their view of God shaped by truth or assumption?)
• The patience I offer (Are they an infant in Christ or a stranger to grace?)

Sometimes what’s called “pre-counseling” is simply evangelism. We don’t need categories; we need truth in love, rightly applied. Jesus did not say to the woman at the well, “First let’s clarify whether you’re regenerate.” He simply began to speak to her need, asking questions, exposing thirst, and offering living water. You meet people where they are, but first, you need to know where they are.

Case Study: Biff’s Changing View of Bert

Bert is a long-time member of the church. He’s dependable, helps with church events, leads a small Bible study occasionally, and everyone assumes he’s a mature believer. So when Biff, a biblical counselor in the same congregation, is asked to meet with Bert for some ongoing spiritual guidance, he steps into it assuming Bert simply needs help with a few spiritual disciplines.

But as their sessions progress, Biff’s assumptions begin to shift.

When discussing Scripture, Bert struggles to locate basic books of the Bible. He can’t articulate the gospel clearly. He doesn’t know the difference between justification and sanctification. Worse still, Biff discovers that Bert has been hiding several significant sins in his marriage: a pattern of spiritual neglect, passive-aggression, and occasional financial deceit—things only his wife, Marge, knows about. And while Bert acknowledges these sins as “mistakes,” there’s no brokenness, no gospel framework, no evidence of true repentance.

Biff doesn’t react with judgment or panic; he pivots with discernment. He begins asking better questions:

• “How did you come to know Christ?”
• “What do you believe the gospel is?”
•  “How does the Bible speak to your conscience?”
• “What motivates your obedience?”

These are not diagnostic in a clinical sense, but pastoral. Biff wants to know: Is this man a hurting, struggling saint, or a deceived moralist? He holds his assumptions loosely, letting Bert’s words and responses reveal the truth over time.

Eventually, Biff suspects that Bert may not be regenerated. His functional theology is hollow. His affections are dull. His knowledge of Scripture is surface-level at best. And his sin—though partially acknowledged—is not producing repentance, only regret. The starting point, Biff realizes, is likely still on the left side of the line. Bert doesn’t need accountability and structure; he needs Christ.

Final Exhortation

You cannot disciple rightly unless you discern accurately. A person’s starting point defines everything. Your job is not to rush them into change but to meet them where they actually are, and to speak God’s Word accordingly. Evangelism and sanctification are not interchangeable. But both require patience, wisdom, and love rooted in truth.

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Peace,
Rick