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The one-flesh union of marriage is a mystery, but not in the sense of being unknowable. In Scripture, a mystery is often a previously concealed truth now revealed. That’s how Paul uses the word in Ephesians 5:31-32 when he quotes Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Then he adds, “This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” With that statement, Paul links human marriage to something far greater: our union with Christ, and ultimately, to the very nature of God Himself. Adam and Eve’s one-flesh union was not an isolated relational concept, but a theological image. It revealed something about God’s relational nature: unity within diversity, oneness within plurality. The doctrine of the Trinity teaches us that God is one Being in three distinct Persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—equal in essence, distinct in personhood, and united in will. This doctrinal point is not a human concept projected onto God; it is a divine revelation that explains the eternal reality of God’s nature. When God created man and woman and then brought them together in a one-flesh union, He was reflecting, in finite form, His own triune nature. This perspective is not to say that marriage mirrors the Trinity in every respect. There are obvious and necessary distinctions between the Creator and the created. But there are elements of reflection—echoes of divine realities—that help us understand what God is after in designing marriage the way He did. Wayne Grudem observed that the creation of two distinct yet unified persons in marriage reflects, to a degree, the relational dynamics within the Trinity. God did not create a solitary man to image Him. Nor did He create identical beings. He created male and female—equal in value, distinct in role—designed to come together in covenantal unity, which is not just functional; it’s foundational.
In the Trinity, we see three distinct Persons working in perfect harmony, never in competition, never seeking personal exaltation, never demanding from one another, but always glorifying each other. The Father sends the Son. The Son obeys the Father. The Spirit glorifies the Son. There is mutual submission and mutual glorification without hierarchy of value or worth. Each Person fulfills a role, not because of inferiority or superiority, but because of eternal love and shared purpose. This cooperative harmony finds a faint yet powerful echo in marriage. The husband and wife, distinct in role but one in essence as image-bearers, are called into this same pattern of mutual submission, not in a flattened, role-less way, but in a way that reflects the relational order God has designed. The husband leads with Christlike sacrifice. The wife responds with willing submission, not out of weakness, but out of strength, just as Christ submitted to the will of the Father. The marriage relationship, rightly ordered, is not a power struggle but a living parable, a declaration of the gospel.
In marriage, we find both diversity and unity. Genesis 1:27 says, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” The diversity is clear: male and female, distinct in physiology, role, and design. Yet Genesis 2:24 declares their unity: “And the two shall become one flesh.” In this covenantal union, they are joined in a relationship that comprehends their whole being: mind, spirit, body, and purpose. This unity, however, does not dissolve their individuality. They do not become indistinct. Just as the Father is not the Son, and the Son is not the Spirit, the husband is not the wife, nor does she become him. Each retains personal identity and moral agency, yet they are bound together in a unified mission to glorify God together as one.
Such a relationship requires intentionality and grace. It is not automatic. Just as the unity of the Trinity is rooted in love and self-giving, the unity of marriage must also be cultivated by those same virtues. Love—biblical love—is not a response to desirability. It is an act of the will, driven by a desire to glorify God and do good to another. It does not exist for its own sake, but for the sake of the other. In this sense, love reflects the nature of God Himself. “God is love,” John says (1 John 4:8). He does not merely exhibit love—He is love, which is why there must be a relationship within the Godhead. Love cannot exist in isolation. It must be given and received. In this light, it becomes clearer why it was “not good for man to be alone.”
It also explains why self-centeredness destroys marriages. When each partner turns inward—seeking fulfillment, affirmation, identity, or worth from the other—the marriage no longer reflects the Trinity. It begins to mirror the fall. When one demands instead of gives, when one withdraws instead of engages, the unity breaks. God-honoring marriage is not a system of emotional exchange. It is a reflection of the divine dance; the joyful, humble, other-oriented communion of the triune God. Only the gospel can produce this kind of union. The natural man does not submit; he asserts. The flesh does not serve; it demands. Only by being reconciled to God by having our identity secured in Christ can we approach another person in humility, seeking not what they can give us, but how we can reflect Christ together.
This design is why Paul said, “This mystery is great.” He wasn’t merely marveling at romance. He was looking through marriage to the reality it points toward: Christ and the church—united not by need, but by covenantal love; not sustained by emotion, but by sacrificial grace. Similarly, a godly marriage is not about personal satisfaction. It is about displaying the beauty of gospel reconciliation, of unity forged not through mutual need, but mutual surrender. As we ponder the one-flesh union in light of the Trinity, we are left with awe, not only for the gift of marriage, but for the God who designed it. He did not create it for human convenience, nor as a social custom to evolve over time. He created it as a living, breathing picture of Himself: a mysterious yet glorious glimpse into the eternal love that has always existed within Him and now calls us to reflect it in covenantal faithfulness.
When we examine the relationship between man and woman in light of God’s creation design, we discover a pattern of diversity within unity that not only informs our understanding of marriage but also directs our thoughts upward toward the very nature of God. As we’ve already established, man and woman were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), distinct in form and role, yet unified in essence and purpose. The marriage covenant does not erase that distinction but brings it into harmonious alignment. This relational structure echoes something eternal: the beautiful diversity and perfect unity within the Trinity. In the Trinity, we behold three distinct Persons—Father, Son, and Spirit—each fully God, each possessing the same divine essence, and yet each fulfilling unique roles within the redemptive story. The Father sends, the Son saves, and the Spirit sanctifies. They work in perfect agreement and love, without rivalry or confusion. In the same way, man and woman, though distinct, are called to walk in loving, self-giving unity. The aim is not to blend into sameness, but to function in joyful cooperation for the glory of God.
Genesis 1:27 makes the diversity clear: “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” The image of God is not limited to the individual man or woman; it is most fully expressed in the relational pairing of male and female. Marriage does not erase individuality; it reveals God’s intent for that individuality to be expressed in covenantal unity. Genesis 2:24 adds, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Diversity—male and female—is joined in unity—one flesh. This design is not arbitrary. It is theological. It is reflective of God Himself. Within this framework, we must also recognize the presence of relationship. Relationship is not an accessory to God’s nature; it is essential. Before creation, before time, before any angel sang or man walked in the garden, God existed in perfect relational harmony. The Father loved the Son; the Son delighted in the Father; the Spirit glorified them both. This eternal communion is the backdrop of all relationships. It is no wonder, then, that man, made in God’s image, is a relational being. He was not made to exist in isolation but in connection, not to use others for personal gain, but to reflect divine love through selfless unity.
In this way, marriage reflects something sacred. It is not merely a social contract or a romantic arrangement. It is a covenantal relationship in which two image-bearers unite in love, service, and purpose. They remain two persons, yet they are one flesh. They retain individuality, yet they pursue unity. This interplay requires trust, humility, and a shared commitment to glorify God above all else. Just as the Trinity contains both diversity and unity, so must a biblical marriage. The man and woman will often approach life from different perspectives. They will have varying strengths, weaknesses, and inclinations. But rather than seeing these differences as obstacles to overcome, they should be embraced as God’s providential design. The aim is not to erase these differences but to weave them into a tapestry of shared purpose. A wise husband learns from his wife, just as she is shaped through his leadership. Their roles are distinct, but their calling is shared—to walk in agreement as they reflect God’s image.
Consider also how a relationship demands personal interaction. The triune God is not an impersonal force but a personal Being in eternal communion. Likewise, marriage is not a mechanical function but a deeply personal fellowship. It requires conversation, mutual knowing, and intentional sharing. It is not a task-oriented partnership, but a life-giving relationship where souls meet, hearts connect, and lives intertwine. This kind of connection cannot thrive on efficiency. It must be nurtured by love—God-centered, others-focused, sacrificial love. And yet, in this love, no one loses themselves. In the Trinity, the Father remains the Father, the Son remains the Son, and the Spirit remains the Spirit. Each has full personhood, yet each serves the other in perfect harmony. Similarly, in a biblical marriage, the husband does not erase the wife’s identity, nor does the wife diminish his role. Instead, they enter into a relationship that honors distinction and celebrates oneness.
This point is why marriage cannot be redefined without damaging its divine purpose. It is not ours to recreate. It was not designed for self-fulfillment or to accommodate shifting cultural winds. Marriage is from God, patterned after His own being, designed to reflect His relational glory. Any distortion of this pattern, whether through role confusion, selfish ambition, or redefinition of what constitutes a marriage, strikes at the root of God’s creative intent. Therefore, to understand marriage rightly, we must first understand God. And to live out marriage faithfully, we must walk in step with His Spirit. Only when we submit to God’s design, embracing both the diversity and the unity He ordained, can we enter into a marriage that reflects His glory. This perspective is not merely a call to relational success; it is a call to worship. Marriage is a living metaphor for God’s covenant with His people, and in particular, Christ’s union with His church. To treat it lightly is to mishandle a divine gift.
And so, the diversity of man and woman, their union in marriage, and their relationship are not pragmatic solutions to human need; they are theological realities. They are the brushstrokes on the canvas of creation that declare: “God is relational. God is love. And God is glorified when we walk together, in unity, according to His purpose.”
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
