Role of Fathers 1.0

Let’s walk through the important role of fathers—not the entire teaching from our webinar The Important Role of Fathers, but a specific, central aspect: Role Questions. This infographic captures a deeply theological and practical insight into how children form their understanding of identity, protection, and love through the shaping influence of their fathers. The father is not just a biological figure, but a theological one—a representative, whether consciously or not, of God the Father in the child’s early interpretive grid. It’s a role that carries eternal implications.

Role Questions: A Gospel Lens: This graphic focuses on two categories—sons and daughters—and the core questions they direct toward their fathers. These aren’t casual curiosities but foundational worldview-building inquiries. Let’s break them down.

For Sons:

• Who Am I?—This is an identity question. It speaks to the ontological nature of the son’s being—how he sees himself. A father affirms his son by modeling biblical masculinity. The father does not define the boy, but he reflects and supports God’s design in his son’s life. If the father is disengaged, passive, angry, or overbearing, the son will often begin interpreting manhood through a distorted lens. This can lead to insecurity, false bravado, or passivity. God made Adam, gave him a name, and gave him a task. A faithful father echoes this structure.
• What Do I Do?—This is the activity question. Sons are workers, leaders, image-bearers tasked with dominion and responsibility. A father who disciples his son well equips him to live out his design—to steward his gifts, to initiate, and to serve. When this is neglected, sons grow up either overachieving for approval or drifting without purpose. A father gives a picture of how a man works, how he serves, and how he leads with humility.

For Daughters:

• Do You Love Me?—This is the relational question. It’s not rooted in performance but presence. Daughters learn how to interpret love from how their fathers give it. Do they show godly affection? Are they gentle but firm? Do they speak value and dignity into her life? A daughter who learns gospel-centered love from her father is more likely to discern counterfeit affection when it comes. She won’t have to beg for validation, because she knows she is loved.
• Will You Protect Me?—This is the security question. A daughter needs to know that her father will stand guard—physically, spiritually, emotionally. When that protection is absent or selfishly conditional, she may look for security elsewhere. Her sense of safety and worth becomes negotiable. But a father who provides sacrificially and shepherds diligently equips her to trust in the true Protector—God Himself.

The role of a father is not just functional; it’s theological. The father is the first and most influential picture of God’s authority and care. Children extrapolate their understanding of God the Father through what they think of their earthly father. If that relationship is marked by sin and neglect, confusion will follow, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Case Study: Biff, Biffy, and Biffina

Biff was a busy man. Work took priority, and when he was home, he was either distracted, harsh, or indifferent. He never meant to harm anyone; he just thought providing a paycheck was enough. But his children, Biffy and Biffina, were asking role questions that Biff wasn’t answering.

• Biffy grew up uncertain about who he was. He mimicked others to fit in, chasing performance to earn approval. Without guidance, he lacked confidence in his masculinity. “What do I do?” became a haunting echo, and he filled it with career obsession and escapism.
• Biffina, on the other hand, longed to know she was loved. Biff rarely said it, and never in ways that mattered to her. She began to seek attention in risky relationships, because “Will you protect me?” had been answered with silence.

By the time they reached adulthood, both were confused, anxious, and relationally unstable. But God, in His mercy, intervened.

Biff came to Christ through a faithful brother in his church. He began to study resources like The Important Role of Fathers. He repented to Biffy and Biffina—not blaming them, but owning his neglect. He pursued a restored relationship through humble confession and patient discipleship.

Biffy started meeting with older men in the church, learning how to walk in biblical masculinity. He stopped performing and started leading with love. Biffina found her worth not in attention from others, but in her identity as God’s daughter, watching her father slowly become a protector and spiritual guide.

It didn’t happen overnight, but the Lord was kind to use the truth of the gospel, and the restored modeling of their father, to transform confusion into clarity. That’s the power of gospel-centered fatherhood.

Let this encourage every father: You don’t have to be perfect, but you must be present. If you haven’t answered these questions for your children, start today. Point them to the perfect Father by how you love, lead, and protect.

Find all our graphics here.

Peace,
Rick