Sex Before Marriage

Most of the couples I see for marriage counseling had consensual sex before they were married. Though their pre-marriage fornication does not represent all of their current problems, you can typically discern a constellation of sinful patterns associated with and flows out of their unresolved and undiscussed infidelity.

What you observe in your partner’s life today is a precursor to how the rest of your life will look—only it will be exponentially better or worse. If he (or she) is walking in the Spirit, that walk will become exponentially better. If your dating partner is walking in the flesh, it will be exponentially worse. Do not fool yourself into believing otherwise.

You are not the exception to this rule. If what you observe in your partner is unclear to you, seek wise counsel to walk you through your relationship observations. Your “counsel seeking” should be more than checking a box; it must be a God-centered, divine appointment to learn, potentially change, and grow.

The side effects of letting any sin have its way with you are a hardened conscience, a dysfunctional relationship, and much displeasure to the Lord. Your conscience is God’s kindness to you to let you know your need, whatever it may be, and respond to Him. If you choose not to respond to any sin biblically, the hardening process will eventually stifle your joy and damage your relationships.

Time to Reflect

1. Have you had sex before marriage?
2. What are you doing to stay morally pure?
3. Will you confide in a trusted and biblical mentor about your plans to stay pure?