Prodigal Son

This infographic titled “The Prodigal and the Change Process” serves as a rich and visual representation of Luke 15:11–18, showing us both the sovereignty of God in transformation and our limited, though vital, role as disciple-makers. Whether you’re counseling, parenting, discipling, or walking with a struggling friend, this visual speaks directly into the tension of wanting to see change but being utterly dependent on the Lord to grant it.

The Mystery of the Change Process

The process begins with the young man asking for his inheritance (box 12), leaving home (box 13), and entering into a long season of foolish living. Where is this person on their journey? That’s the central mystery — represented by the question mark (?). Maybe they’re on the front end, enjoying their freedom, cash in hand. Or maybe they’re somewhere in the middle, unaware they’re on a fast track toward a face-plant in the hog lot. Or maybe, they’re nearing the end, hungry, humiliated, and finally aware of their condition.

The uncertainty in that question mark is the space we live in as soul care providers. We don’t know where someone is in the process. We can’t know unless they tell us — and sometimes, not even then. And here’s where the key application lies: God has not assigned us the role of the Holy Spirit.

He has called us to plant and water, as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 3:6, but it is God who gives the growth — if He chooses, and when He chooses. The timing and outcome are always in His hands. This is not indifference; it is an invitation to trust. This truth reshapes how we approach everyone in our care: we are stewards, not sovereigns.

We Do Not Cause Repentance

In counseling, you may speak with someone who is stuck in stages 13–15, blind to their pride or unbothered by their rebellion. In parenting, your child might be in the far country — outwardly defiant or quietly indifferent. In friendship or marriage, you may see destructive habits cycling again and again. And yet, your job has not changed: rest, trust, and continue to minister the Word.

You are not the one who causes the “coming to their senses” moment. That is a miracle. And the good news is, you don’t have to engineer that moment. God is already at work—or not—and that is His domain.

Case Study: Mable and Biffy

Mable is a devoted Christian mother who wants nothing more than for her son Biffy to walk with the Lord. Biffy, now 22, has wandered far from the faith. He’s cold, dismissive, and often sarcastic toward Mable’s concerns. Every time they speak, she reminds him of his need to repent. She texts him Bible verses daily. She shows up uninvited, checking up on his habits. Biffy withdraws more and more. The more he shuts down, the more Mable panics, doubling down on her efforts to pull him back without realizing she’s tightening a noose of guilt and pressure around his neck.

Mable’s desire is sincere, but her methods are self-reliant. She is attempting to do what only God can do: change Biffy’s heart. Her over-caring is really a form of unbelief. She doesn’t trust God’s timeline. Her actions communicate, “If I don’t do this, he won’t change,” which places her in the role of rescuer rather than steward.

What Should Mable Do?

Mable needs to rest. Not stop loving, but recalibrate her love around the gospel, not her anxiety. She must return to her identity in Christ, not as a fixer but as a faithful minister of grace. That means:

• Praying more than speaking. Trusting the Spirit to convict Biffy in ways her words cannot.
• Setting parameters for herself. Choosing not to intrude, monitor, check up on, or manipulate under the banner of love.
• Speaking truth with wisdom and restraint. A few well-timed, grace-filled conversations are more powerful than a hundred anxious reminders.
• Trusting in God’s timing. It may take years. It may never happen. But her peace must come from God’s faithfulness, not her perceived effectiveness.

Mable can find rest in the truth that she is not the changer, only the planter and waterer. Her peace does not lie in Biffy’s transformation, but in the God who holds both of them. God is writing Biffy’s story, not her. And in the meantime, Mable is called to faithful presence, not forced outcomes.

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Peace,
Rick