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All five ways should be part of any Christian’s change process. The neglect of any one of them will hinder a person’s maturation-into-Christlikeness process. My point is not about how one is better than the other but about how all of them are essential, and each one serves a unique role in the overall transformation of any person. It is similar to Paul’s discussion about the different gifts within the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12-26). All the parts of the body are needed, and it is not helpful to speak more of one to the neglect of the other. It depends on the need of the moment and the specific situation a person is going through, which determines how we use each component of the change process.
There is a time when the Bible should be front and center in a person’s life, and there is a time when a person needs to put the Bible down and do the hard work of repenting (changing). I do not need the Bible to repent if the Bible has already taught me how to repent. For example, when I get angry at my wife, I do not need the Bible to explain my anger, what is going on in my heart, or what I need to do about my sin. The Bible has already informed me about these things. I need to confess my sins to God and my wife and seek their forgiveness (1 John 1:9). At that moment of conviction, the most important thing that I need to do is number three—personal responsibility in the Bible’s change process. God’s Word had already done its job. The Spirit was doing His job. My call to action during any bout of anger is to repent. Will I step up to the plate and do what I need to do to mature in Christ?
Back to my question: what is better to have, the Bible or a mentor? You see this biblical synchronization between the essentialness of the Bible and a mentor in the New Testament. Here are a few examples:
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age (Matthew 28:19-20).
But how are they to call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:14-15).
So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him (Acts 8:30-31).
For more examples of the primacy of the community of humanity mentoring each other, read all the “one another” passages from the New Testament. The Bible does not make a case for Bible exclusivity in the sanctification process but calls for a more comprehensive way to think about our sanctification, which requires a healthy (biblical) view of the Bible as well as how we engage each other (koinonia). Christians do not separate sola Scripture from mentoring or the other three essential elements in the change process: the Lord, the person, and the situation. Every Timothy needs a Paul, plus a thorough understanding of the Lord’s Word.
Discipleship, working in cooperation with growing Bible knowledge, while in the context of a community, is an excellent prescription for anyone to mature in Christ. This perspective is the way I have always led small groups in the local church. If you have a high view of the Word of God and a high view of the community, you do not need convincing about how they work together in the overall transformation of souls. For example, this worldview for small group development works well in four local church contexts.
Many local churches have one big church meeting each week. It happens on Sunday morning. This corporate event is a time when everyone comes together as a larger body to worship the Lord through singing, hearing the Word, ministering to each other, and eclectic teaching contexts. These opportunities are specific events that work together to build up the body collectively. Typically, the corporate meeting is an excellent time for the small group to connect, even if it is a lighthearted moment. You may joke around, catch up on your week, and possibly talk about something serious. Due to the frenetic pace of the morning, these pneumatic opportunities are not always conducive to deep and transformative conversations.
They are brief encounters, albeit redemptive, in that, you see each other, and it is another opportunity to build relationally, with the long-term goal and expectation of having more in-depth and more transformative times later. The deeper discussions of life cannot happen consistently in a large crowd of people with whom you do not do life together regularly. To expect the large corporate church meeting to be a context for more in-depth and uniquely personal transformative conversations could be a setup for disappointment. You need another place that provides more privacy, with a slower pace, to talk about the more profound things in our lives. This need and opportunity is why some churches have small groups.
The groups that I have led typically met on Sunday or Wednesday nights throughout the year. We gathered to take our relationships deeper than what we could do on Sunday mornings. These meetings were more isolated and private from the larger corporate body. The nature of these smaller meetings gave us better opportunities to be more honest and transparent. Our “rule” in a small group is that what we say in this room stays in this room. Our small groups were a tight-knit group of friends who came together to spur each other on to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Small group meetings are a time for the pace and noise of our lives to slow down. It is the “pulling away” idea that the Lord taught His disciples (Mark 6:30-32). There are times when it is essential to get away from serving others so that you can help yourself. Without a replenishing context in your life, you will quickly deplete your soul. This kind of context is essential for individuals, couples, and families. It is a quiet, private, smaller corporate time where members can humbly ask each other to speak into their lives. It presumes self-acknowledgment of self-suspicion. We have our blind spots, which elevates the value of a band of brothers and sisters reciprocally caring for each other.
Because of our sense of shame, the temptation to be easily embarrassed, and a lack of community trust, we have found that adding monthly couple’s meetings to our small group dynamic is a must. The curse of Adam not only reaches far and wide, but it goes deep, too. Love, trust, and safety do not happen just because you are Christians and you are meeting in a small group. Some people are more jaded about opening up in a small group because of past experiences where others have hurt them. Besides, some conversations are not suitable for small group life.
We do not talk about a couple’s sex life in our small group meetings. This discussion is where the couple’s sessions can serve as an essential means of grace for a struggling marriage. It gives them a safer and smaller place to talk about things that are important to them. Couples meetings can also be dynamic when all the members of the small group value and participate in them. Couples sessions are not just for the leader to care for the group but an opportunity for the entire group to meet in small contexts so they can learn to love and serve each other.
As you can see, our meetings go from broad to narrow. Our most non-transparent meetings are the corporate meetings on Sunday mornings because those meetings cannot accommodate the more in-depth sanctification care of the smaller group contexts. Corporate meetings are essential and fantastic for other things, i.e., corporate teaching, worship, training, and prayer. Even our small group meetings are not enough for us to do sanctification well because there are too many people in the room to talk about the more intimate and vulnerable things in our lives.
Some of the most effective envisioning and equipping in our small groups happened when the individuals and couples in the group were meeting privately with the leader and each other. For the group to be a success, all the members must pursue one another. Each person in the group will have to decide if they are going to own their group. The degree to which each person takes ownership of their group will determine the quality of sanctification that happens in the group. If the couples and individuals are meeting in various contexts throughout the week, the small group meeting can be transformational. However, if the group is not getting to know each other on more individual levels, the group meeting may indeed be smaller than the corporate meeting, but it will still be a group of superficial strangers.
What is better to have, a Bible or a mentor? It is better to have both plus the other three elements of change the Bible speaks of. It is like a church with a pro-life emphasis, adoption ministry, global outreach, and Bible studies. It is not that one is better, to the exclusion of the others. They are all essential. When it comes to sanctification, it is better to think and implement broadly rather than narrowly. As you think about your sanctification, is there a missing element?
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
