48 Case Studies 15: Don’t Tell the Elders

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Biff, a 32-year-old aspiring pastor, has anchored his identity in ministry rather than in Christ. His parents have perpetuated this mindset with a two-tier Christian belief system that elevates ministry work above other vocations. This perspective has driven Biff’s pursuit of pastoral leadership, even though his marriage with Mable is fraught with unresolved challenges.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

Mable resents the pressures of ministry life, especially the “fishbowl” effect of living under constant surveillance. Their most heated arguments consistently revolve around Biff’s ministry ambitions. Recently, Mable expressed her unwavering stance: she will not divorce Biff, but she will also never support his desire to become a pastor.

Biff is torn between his aspirations for ministry and the mounting tension in their marriage. He knows the two cannot coexist in their current state but fears losing his ministry position if the elders discover the truth about his marriage struggles. This fear of transparency intensifies his internal conflict, creating uncertainty about the next steps. Biff must face the reality that his ministry cannot thrive if his marriage is not aligned with biblical qualifications for leadership. He seeks guidance on reconciling his calling, the state of his marriage, and his commitment to living with integrity.

Case Study Questions

1. Why do you believe Biff should (or should not) be in the ministry?
2. What Scriptures would you use to counsel Biff, and why would you use them?
3. What should their marriage look like for him to be qualified for the ministry?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).