48 Case Studies 28: High Standards Tempt Me to Lie

Photo: ©Aleksei Isachenko from Aleksei Isachenko photos via Canva.com

Mable struggles with deep insecurity masked by self-righteousness. Her desire for perfection and a craving for others’ approval distort her relationships with both God and those closest to her. Her family is well aware of her tendencies but feels unable to address them because Mable is not humble enough to receive feedback about her faults.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

In her marriage, Mable’s self-righteous attitude often manifests as nagging, criticism, and demeaning speech toward her husband, Biff. While Biff has his struggles, too, Mable’s persistent disappointment and a recent ultimatum to leave him if he doesn’t change have created a significant strain on their relationship.

During a private counseling session, Biff talked about his frustrations and temptations. He expressed a desire to grow spiritually, describing efforts to change his prayer life, Bible reading, and accountability. However, he admitted feeling overwhelmed by Mable’s impossible standards. Her high expectations leave him tempted to lie about his progress to avoid further criticism or conflict. Biff’s vulnerability reveals the unhealthy dynamics in their marriage, where grace and patience are overshadowed by fear and pressure. He is seeking guidance on how to reconcile his desire to grow with Mable’s demands for perfection and her inability to offer unconditional support.

Case Study Questions

1. Should Biff be completely transparent with Mable? Why did you answer that way?
2. What is your counsel to him?
3. How would you counsel Mable?

Need More Help?

1. If you want to learn more from us, you may search this site for thousands of resources—articles, podcasts, videos, graphics, and more. Please spend time studying the ones that interest you. They are free.
2. If you want to talk to us, we have private forums for those who support this ministry financially. Please support us here if you want to help us keep our resources free.

Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).