Day 25 – Living Boldly: Sex Before Marriage

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Today’s focus is a sensitive but vital topic: sex before marriage. God’s design for physical intimacy is within the context of marriage, and stepping outside that design can lead to long-lasting consequences in your spiritual, emotional, and relational life (Hebrews 13:4).

Rick’s 31-Day Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God 
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Why Purity Matters

Many couples who come to marriage counseling have had sex before marriage. While this isn’t always the root of their problems, it often creates unresolved issues that resurface in their relationship after they tie the knot. Sin has a way of compounding itself, creating patterns that harden consciences, damage relationships, and hinder spiritual growth. Sometimes, you don’t know the origins until decades later.

The way someone lives today is a preview of how they will live in their marriage—either for better or worse. A partner walking in the Spirit will continue to grow in grace, while one walking in the flesh will likely grow further from God. Don’t deceive yourself into thinking you or your relationship is the exception to this rule.

Seek Wise Counsel

If you need clarification on your relationship or your partner’s spiritual walk, seek God-centered counsel from a trusted mentor or biblical leader. This need is not about checking a box but engaging in a divine appointment where you can learn, grow, and make necessary changes.

The Side Effects of Sexual Sin

Allowing sin to go unchecked has serious consequences. Let me provide a few examples:

• Hardened Conscience: Ignoring God’s convictions dulls your sensitivity to the Spirit.
• Dysfunctional Relationships: Sin introduces patterns of mistrust, guilt, and unresolved conflict.
• Displeasure to God: The Lord desires your holiness, making Him a warring army against pride (James 4:6).

God gave you a conscience as a kindness, alerting you to sin and calling you to respond biblically. Ignoring that call hardens your heart, steals your joy, and damages your ability to build healthy relationships.

Time to Reflect

1. Have you had sex before marriage? If so, have you confessed this sin to God and sought His forgiveness?
2. What are you doing to stay morally pure?
3. Will you confide in a trusted biblical mentor about your plans to stay pure?

Practical Steps

• Set Borders: Establish clear limits in your relationships to honor God and protect your purity.
• Confess and Repent: If you’ve fallen into sexual sin, confess it to God and seek His forgiveness. Consider talking to a mentor for guidance and accountability.
• Pray for Strength: Ask God for the strength to resist temptation and the wisdom to glorify Him.

God’s design for sex is not about restricting you but about protecting you and helping you flourish in a marriage centered on Him. Honor Him now by pursuing purity, trusting that His plan is always for your good.

Let’s live boldly, living in the freedom and joy of God’s design for our lives.

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).