Parenting Day 28: Seven-Point Checklist To Have Fantastic Children

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Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Teen Devotion

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Every loving parent wants their children to turn out well. However, they are also aware they have a role to play. Though God is the primary change agent, parents are secondary agents who must cooperate with the Lord to transform their children. Here are seven tips to help those parents.

1. Praying: While this is an expected tip, it is at the top of the list because God is the only person who can change anyone (2 Timothy 2:24-25). If you want your child to change, you must plead with the Lord to change him. If your child does transform, God did it. If he does not, the Lord has not (at this point) granted repentance. There is a mystery here that you must fully engage. On your best day, all you can do is water and plant. God is the one who brings growth to a person’s life.
2. Being: Your life must always be imitating God. Your child needs to see an authentic Christlike life. You are “Exhibit A” to that life. The best role you can play in your child’s life is to give him an authentic life that includes your mistakes. Your mistakes may be the most informative way to teach your child the Christ life. After you fail, you have an incredible opportunity to model how to respond to failure.
3. Relating: The next best gift you can give your child is an authentic relationship with another person. If you’re married, it’s your spouse. You have two decades to present to your child how to live the Christ-life with fallen individuals. Think of your marriage like a TV reality show that your children get to watch every day—what a spectacular opportunity. Your kids will relate with fallen people all their lives, and you get to show them how to do it.
4. Repenting: Failing is a daily occurrence. Failure is not the end of the world but the beginning of something unique. God has given you the world’s greatest secret weapon: the power to change. Your mistakes are opportunities to transform, so you don’t keep doing what you have done. The added benefit to personal transformation is you can teach your children how to change.
5. Loving: Secure children are the by-product of loving parents. Insecure children are the by-product of fussy parents. Fussy parents will push their kids to find security in the culture. Their depravity will grow if you complicate their fallenness with yours. Your imitation of Christ will close the gap that separates your child from Christ.
6. Exporting: Christianity is an exportable religion. You are in the import/export business. Your response to what God is pouring into your life is to pour it into your children. Living the gospel is not a passive exercise. Everything said thus far is what you should be pouring into your children: praying, being, relating, repenting, and loving.
7. Releasing: Your job is not to save your kids; God does the saving. Your job is not to complicate what God can do. Be assured that God can regenerate any child despite the parents, but erecting hurdles doesn’t have to happen. Instead, you want to cooperate with the Lord as you release your kids into the world as men and women who know how to submit to God while fulfilling the capacities and gifts that God has given to them.

Time to Parent

1. Praying: How do you know you trust the Lord to transform your children?
2. Being: What elements of the fruit of the Spirit do you need to address?
3. Relating: What does your marriage TV reality show reveal to your children?
4. Repenting: Is your home an active repenting home? Please explain.
5. Loving: How are you affecting your children with the love in your home?
6. Exporting: What needs to change to export Christ to your child?
7. Releasing: As you look to your child’s future release date, what do you need to change?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).