It is imperative that you understand your wife so you can help her. The infographic and mind map will help you understand the ruling motives of her heart, how her thoughts are captivated by influences other than Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Rather than focusing on what you feel or what you’re not getting from her, you must make it about her sanctification. More than likely what controls her predates your relationship with her.
Read my article on how to take your thoughts captive
You don’t want to make things worse for her. You have by your actions. None of us are perfect. Now it’s time to think surgically. Ask the Spirit of God to illuminate your mind about what is going on with her. Think beyond the surface of your marriage. Ask God’s favor as you serve your wife. Ten or twenty years of heart entanglements do not ordinarily unravel in short seasons. You will have to work the long game.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:1-2
There is a reason this kind of person refuses to allow Christ to have full reign over her life. Maybe she is afraid of giving up control of her life to God. Maybe she is disappointed in God (Christianity). Perhaps she does not know how to do this. Typically, if a person is not allowing Christ full control of her life, the hindrance has something to do with fear, anger, and ignorance.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).