Communication: Redeeming Talk Trouble – (8,300 words) Each counseling session regarding talk trouble problems begins similarly: “We have a communication problem.” That is true in the most technical sense, though the couple’s understanding of communication is nearly always limited and secularized. While they may not talk nicely to each other, the problem is much deeper than they realize. Communication problems begin in the heart of the person while reaching into the community of the Trinity. James asked, “What causes quarrels and conflicts?” and answered his question threefold by saying our passions, desires, and coveting ways are the source of a person’s communication problems (James 4:1-2).
But communication is more than a heart problem; it is a divine problem. The Trinity is the original communicating community, and God made us in His image (Genesis 1:26-27). Though our hearts are broken and require a biblical rewire, it can only happen when we align our hearts to the divine—the original community. This book will walk you through how to do this. The first chapter will start where all good communication begins: with God. The second chapter will motivate you to branch out by exporting what you have learned to a close friend. I talk specifically about a husband leading his wife.
Finally, the third chapter will allow you to expand your communicative prowess to your more extensive group of friends. Perhaps the borders of redemptive communication will not stop with only these few relationships. The goal is that you will be able to build a genuine community with God, with yourself, with your closest friends, and with your extended group of friends. The most effective way to use this book is to read slowly, reflectively, and prayerfully while adding journaling and daily practice to your list of habits. I would not recommend reading just to be reading. At the end of each chapter, I have “call to action” opportunities to challenge you to work this content into your soul.
Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13).
It would be best if you had a friend, spouse, or mentor that you could immediately share the content of this book. Finally, start communicating more effectively today to become a more effective communicator. Let the “call to action” opportunities work for you. Too often, books are read and shelved. I would not recommend you do that with this book. Your goal is not to notch your “book belt” as though you are on a quest to read books for the sake of reading.
May you aim to change. That may mean you read this book several times. Maybe it will become the source material among your friends. Perhaps you’ll want to teach a class using this content or preach a sermon series. I appeal to you not to let the words in this book rest. Use them often. Please share them with others. I promise that your life and relationships will change if you practically grasp this content, measured by how well you talk to those closest to you.
That is my prayer for you and your friends.