48 Case Studies 04: The Nagging Wife

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Mable has struggled with insecurity her entire life. Her earliest memories involve her parents’ consistent displeasure with her, valuing her outward appearance in social contexts over her well-being. This fear-driven parenting model shaped Mable’s need to prove herself and escape the feelings of inadequacy instilled by her parents. After you toss in Adamic shame, it was a crippling double-whammy.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

One of Mable’s coping mechanisms became criticizing others. Whether verbal or internal, judging others as inferior provided her with a sense of self-righteous superiority and temporary relief from her feelings of inadequacy.

When Biff married Mable, he recognized her insecurity but overlooked it due to her physical attractiveness and perceived virtues. Within two years of marriage, however, Biff realized he could not satisfy Mable’s expectations, leading to his sinful pursuits to seek significance and acceptance elsewhere.

Now, Biff is searching for help for his actions, and the counselor is aware of Mable’s deep-seated battles with insecurity. The challenge lies in approaching Mable to address her critical spirit and how her nagging has contributed to the strain in their marriage. While Biff is fully responsible for his sins, Mable must confront her patterns to bring lasting transformation to their relationship.

Case Study Questions

1. How and why would you approach Mable?
2. What are Mable’s core problems and solutions?
3. How would a right understanding and application of the gospel radically change their marriage?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).