Marriage Day 3 – His Problems, Her Problems: One Problem

I watched my wife go through three miscarriages. They happened to her. It was her pain, her disappointment, her fear, but they were my miscarriages, too. I did not feel hurt the way she did. I have no idea of the physical, mental, and emotional agony of a miscarriage—at least not the way she does. But I hurt because she was hurting. I hurt because I lost something, too. We are one flesh. When someone murdered my brother in 1997, my wife hurt along with me. She did not hurt the way I did, but she hurt because her husband was hurting. We are not two people, acting independently of each other. We are one body (Hebrews 13:3). When I sin—no matter what it is—my wife has a responsibility for that sin. She would never say, “That’s Rick’s problem. That’s his sin.” No, it’s our sin. She is not guilty of my sin, she does not repent of my sin, and God does not consider her guilty for my sin, but she has a role to play because she is me, and I am her—we are one.