Self-reliance Detail

One of the most crucial principles you’ll ever learn and apply to your life—and help others understand—is overcoming self-reliance. Self-reliance is when an individual narrows their world to what they can control, essentially becoming the “god” of their own limited universe. This is an adulterated form of worship. God will bring challenges to push you beyond your comfort zone. Intuitively, stepping outside of what you can control feels like a personal death, but it’s actually God’s mercy.

When assisting a self-reliant person, it’s essential to understand them deeply. They are driven by a worship structure centered around idols, with control being the primary idol. The need for control stems from a desire for comfort, born out of fear and shame. This shame creates an internal discomfort, fueling fear, which in turn drives the pursuit of comfort and control. Underlying all this is guilt before God, even if not consciously recognized.

As you help a self-reliant person, you must help them see the underlying issues, including their unbelief. Even Christians may struggle with this, as illustrated in the plea, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” God, in His mercy, will deconstruct this false worship structure, leading to reactions such as anger, blame, and a hardened conscience.

Anger becomes a manipulative tactic to regain control when their world falls apart. Blame shifts responsibility to others, as seen with Adam blaming Eve. A hardened conscience results from turning away from God’s truth, embracing lies instead. These reactions indicate a lack of trust in God—faith, hope, trust, belief, and confidence are all intertwined.

To address this, start with the gospel. Renewing the mind involves replacing anger with gratitude, fear with courage, and ignorance with awareness. This transformation impacts their relationship with God, moving them from unbelief to belief. They will then walk in humility, wisdom, and repentance, experiencing peace and the strength of Christ.

Ultimately, dismantling the self-reliant worship structure involves recognizing and addressing the root problems. It’s about moving from self-sufficiency to God-sufficiency, starting with the gospel and growing in gratitude, courage, and awareness. This process leads to a dynamic change of heart, making them a believing believer who can do all things through Christ. For a deeper dive into this topic, you can watch the detailed webinar available at Life Over Coffee.