When you’re helping someone through their issues, it’s crucial to get to the heart of the matter, as Jesus explains in Luke 6:43-45. Jesus tells us that no good tree bears bad fruit, and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. This teaches us that all our problems stem from our hearts. As disciple-makers, we counsel at the heart level first. Behaviors are important, but they are secondary because they flow from the heart.
To facilitate change, you must ensure all the proper components are in place. You need the community of faith, the Spirit of God, the Word of God, and the person’s heart. Ephesians 4:22-24 instructs us to renew their hearts.
As you work through the process, remember you’re not alone. You are part of the community of faith. Cooperate with the Spirit of God and use the Word of God, bringing in the community of faith to counsel the person and target their heart.
Here’s a basic outline for targeting the heart:
When someone presents their situation, start by asking about their actions. These actions stem from their thoughts. To understand their behavior, dig deeper into their motives. Ask about their cravings, desires, and what drives them to think and act this way. The goal is to shift from self-centered motives to God-centered motives, leading to God-centered thoughts, responses, and situations.
Avoid a simple “put off and put on” approach. This can lead to a Pharisaic attitude—merely changing behavior without addressing the heart. True transformation must be an internal process that results in external change. Work from the situation back to responses, thoughts, and motives, aiming for an internal change that leads to lasting external change.