Read Rick’s 31-Day Devotions
You could say that they “had a life” before you came along. It’s not that you are a problem, but you did change their lives dramatically. The freedoms they knew and enjoyed went away after you came along. Parents give up a lot, but they do it because of something of more significant value.
Before you leave your parent’s home the last time to set up your autonomous empire the way you want it, you can honor your parents by pitching in to take care of their domestic empire. Don’t be that person who has high expectations for your life, your perspective, and your stuff, but not so much for others, especially your parents.
Perhaps your parents are still irresponsible. Maybe they have not sacrificed for you. Maybe you feel more like an interruption to their plans than a valuable treasure. I’m sorry if that is the case for you. If they have not led you well, what if you go radical on them and become the responsible person in the family? Maybe you can be the “grown-up in the room.” Parental irresponsibility is not genetically predetermined for their children. You do not have to be like them.
I spent too many years carrying a chip on my shoulder because I felt ripped-off and cheated by others, especially my parents. The chip that was on my shoulder became a festering sore in my heart that turned to resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness for the life they gave me.
It took me a long time to realize I was no different from them. I whined about my parent’s failures while never realizing my own. One day your parents will be gone, and there will be no excuses for your choices, except to say they are your choices.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).