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As disciples of Christ, we are called to model this same posture. His example demonstrates what it means to live above the noise of the world and the internal anxiety that comes from needing others to accept or admire us. Far too many people today live in a form of soul slavery—ensnared by a desire to be liked or terrified of being rejected. If that describes you, I hope this book will serve as a doorway, a first step toward freedom from the bondage of man-fearing.
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe (Proverbs 29:25).
This Proverb follows a common structure within biblical wisdom literature—a parallelism. There are two lines, the first often stating a negative truth, followed by a positive alternative. Here, the negative warns of the trap set by fearing others, while the positive declares safety found in trusting the Lord. If you were to map it visually, you’d see a simple but sobering path: fear in the heart leads to a trap, while trust in God leads to security.
Though many want safety, they often attempt to reach it by trying to please people. But a heart filled with fear can never lead to real security. Fear never leads to freedom; it always leads to enslavement. To walk in genuine safety, we must begin by confronting the true origin of the issue: our hearts. Within every heart, there exists a tension: fear or faith. When fear dominates, the inevitable result is insecurity in various expressions.
The insecure soul longs to be safe but remains tethered by fears rooted in the opinions of other people. They ask questions like, “Will this person reject me?” or “Will they accept me?” or “Do they approve of me?” Such questions dominate the thinking of someone who is not grounded in God’s truth. But as a person grows in their walk with the Lord—where faith increasingly defines and directs them—they begin to experience the steadiness and security that only God can offer. I say they are “characterized by faith” intentionally. No Christian lives in an unbroken trust. We all oscillate between belief and unbelief, between faith and fear. It is not about achieving perfect faith but rather about trending in the direction of consistent trust in God.
As seen in the second graphic above, the human heart is always influenced by either man or God. When fear of man is ruling, others control our internal world. When faith in the Lord is ruling, He becomes our guide and anchor. The choice is ours. We are not helpless victims, even if we think we are. If certain individuals seem to have power over your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors, take courage. That kind of influence is not God’s design. He desire for His children is to live under His guidance, not under the management of others.
To overcome the fear of man, we must address the issue at its core: the heart. The outward manifestations of fear are symptoms of a deeper problem. Beneath the behaviors is the real issue: unbelief. Though fear is the visible issue, it draws its power from a lack of trust in God. This unbelief operates in the heart of a Christian. It does not necessarily mean the person is unregenerate; they might simply be an “unbelieving believer”—someone who has saving faith but struggles to trust God in their everyday life.
As strange as it may sound, followers of Christ can function like practical atheists, ignoring God while living as though the approval of is supreme. When fear begins to choke the heart, it is always because trust in the Lord has been displaced.
In practical, everyday situations, this fear expresses itself in subtle but powerful ways. It may not be universal; you might not care what everyone thinks, but you care deeply what certain people think. You may be completely relaxed around some individuals but anxiously crave acceptance or avoid rejection from others. That inconsistency is telling. When your mind becomes preoccupied with the thoughts or judgments of someone else, that person has control over you.
The illustration in the third graphic (below) paints this concept well. Picture a marionette with its strings held by another. The craving for approval acts as those strings. The real idol is not the person controlling the puppet; it’s the internal demand for approval, significance, acceptance, or love. This list are synonyms, different names for the same idol. Pick the one that most speaks to your heart, and you’ll find the true master you’re serving.
In the bottom corner of the third graphic, you’ll notice the word “God,” in a small font. The smallness of the word isn’t an accident. It’s an intentional commentary on what’s really broken: a small view of God. When our view of the Lord diminishes, our fear of certain other people increases. This misalignment in the soul is not simply a relational issue, but a theological one. It’s not just about people; it’s about the Lord of all. If we misunderstand who He is, we will inevitably seek identity and value from someone else. That’s the real snare.
What we often diagnose as shyness or introversion is, in reality, a shrinking or distorted view of God. We must admit this breakdown of the soul if change is going to happen. If you don’t understand what must be put off—the fear of man, born from unbelief—you will not be able to walk in freedom.
Those trapped in the fear of others spend too much time thinking about themselves, which is ironic. Their inward fixation only deepens their enslavement. Self-evaluation turns morbid and obsessive:
This introspection doesn’t lead to growth; it leads to bondage. Instead, Scripture calls us to esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3–4). That requires a reorientation of the mind—where God becomes large in our thinking, and others are rightly ordered under the Lord’s authority. When we crave approval from others, we hand them power that belongs only to God alone. To be free, we must give God the exclusive right to govern our thoughts.
Ask yourself: What is it that I believe I need? Do you require the approval of others to feel secure? Your answer will shape how you relate to others. You will either live for their approval or live in the freedom Christ provides.
This perspective is why I inserted Jesus’s name in the fourth graphic (bottom far left). He exemplifies what it means to live under God’s rule rather than man’s opinion. He was misunderstood, rejected, even hated, but nobody could control Him. His Father’s opinion ruled His heart. And what was that opinion? “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11). The world might scoff at Him, but the Father was perfectly satisfied.
Jesus lived His life with perfect clarity and unshakable peace. People could oppose Him, misunderstand Him, or attempt to manipulate Him—but they could never control Him. He was under divine authority. Likewise, if your faith is properly placed in the Lord, you, too, can live untethered by the pressures of others. This attitude of the heart is the goal: to be free from the power of people. Imagine what it would be like to live without being enslaved to another person’s opinion.
This level of Christlikeness is my lifelong aim: to walk in the full freedom Christ offers. Jesus was not indifferent to people, nor was He harsh. He was free from their control but not from compassion toward their condition. This balance—free from people, yet fully loving them—is the key to keeping the greatest commandments: to love God supremely and others sacrificially (Matthew 22:36–40).
If you long for maturity and rest in your soul, the only way forward is full submission to God. You will either be captured by your desire for human approval or anchored in the reality that God’s opinion is eternally sufficient. How do you know God’s view of you is constant and good? The gospel declares it. God’s acceptance is not based on your performance but on the finished work of Christ (Ephesians 2:8–9). If you had to earn His favor, you would never be free. And ironically, the same is true with others—you can never earn lasting approval from people either.
The world’s approval is a never-ending chase. But God’s approval is already secured—in Christ. When Christ said, “It is finished” (John 19:30), the way was opened for us to rest in God’s pleasure. There is no longer any striving. The Father now invites us to look and live (Numbers 21:8; John 3:14).
Think about Christ. He was not indifferent to people, but He was not mastered by them. He moved with clarity, confidence, and compassion—not because everyone admired Him, but because He was ruled by His Father’s love. This is the freedom Christ offers you: to love others sincerely, not because you need something from them, but because you already have everything in Him. Where do you need to repent of misplaced trust? Where do you need to release others from the burden of giving you what only God can supply? Begin identifying those areas, and invite someone mature in the faith to walk with you. Don’t try to untangle this alone.
The fear of man is a slow suffocation—but faith in Christ is fresh air to the soul. Begin walking in that freedom today. Don’t just read about it. Pursue it. Ask God to help you make His voice louder, His opinion weightier, and His love greater than all others. Start now.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).
