48 Case Studies 40: What About Biff?

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Mable has left Biff after 24 years of marriage, citing patterns of ongoing anger, four episodes of physical abuse, mental manipulation, devaluing behavior, and public embarrassment in front of their five children. She also pointed to Biff’s unwillingness to seek help as evidence of his lack of desire to change.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

In addition to the issues Mable has raised, Biff privately admits to other struggles, including fear of man, hypocrisy, financial debt, pornography, materialism, inordinate desires, sensual thinking, a lack of close friendships, and even toying with adultery. While Mable is aware of some of these problems, her primary concern is the impact of Biff’s anger on her and their children.

Biff, professing a desire to reconcile with Mable, seeks counseling. He acknowledges his need for change and expresses regret for how his actions have affected his family. However, his history of inconsistency and highly skilled manipulation leaves Mable skeptical. She has stated that she is not interested in reconciling or counseling with Biff until she sees consistent, practical steps of genuine change. Biff professed faith as a child and attended a conservative church, where he once held the office of deacon, but he has never lived in accordance with his confession of faith.

Case Study Questions

1. Where would you begin with Biff?
2. What would be your advice to Mable?
3. What would be your goals for your first session with Biff?
4. What other information do you need to know from Biff?
5. What is your long-term plan for Biff? What is your long-term strategy for their marriage?
6. What types of homework would you give to Biff, and why would you assign them?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).