Parenting Day 18: The Wisdom of Teaching Your Children Curse Words

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Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

It is impossible to engage our culture at any level and not hear curse words. Whether it is a television show or a stroll in the park, the words of our culture do not discriminate. They do not care who you are. Every caring parent must answer the question, “Who is going to teach my child the culture’s language?”

This training begins with a transcending and overarching parenting goal: to love God and others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:36-40). As your child learns this unique two-tiered worldview about loving God and others, you can begin laying down a sound language strategy that will consist of three parts:

1. Teach your child what God’s Word says (or implies) about language.
2. Test your child on how he uses language in relational contexts.
3. Incrementally release your child into the world to use language redemptively.

With a God-loving, other-centered worldview in place, you can instruct your child to rise above the unedifying noise of our culture. Your leadership wisdom knows better than to turn language training over to someone who does not believe the way you do. You want your children to learn the words of our culture, what the words mean, and how and when to use the world’s language.

Using words correctly and biblically takes more maturity than using them harmfully. You can walk through any crowded public venue and hear that people do not know how to use words redemptively. They know words but do not know how to use them to build up others, motivating any parent to take the lead in language learning. Your children will not always watch G and PG movies or permanently live in a G and PG world. Your hope is when the world comes knocking, your kids won’t be vulnerable to its temptations but will be able to intelligently, humbly, and courageously engage their culture.

Time to Parent

These six tips will help you as you instruct your child. But before you can teach your child, you want to assess your use of words. These tips start with you.

1. Refrain from being hung up about words. Words are words. You do not have to giggle when you say penis or feel like you’ve gotten away with something when you say damn. The more significant issue is the motive behind your words (Luke 6:45).
2. Consider your audience. Do your words uplift and build up or degrade and tear down? The gospel is more about others than about you. Always think of others. Never use your freedom as a right to do as you please.
3. What is your motive? Make sure your heart is saturated by the gospel when you speak. Let the words of your mouth come from a heart treasure informed by the gospel. If so, your speech will be redemptive.
4. Are you a crude dude? Regularly assess yourself. What has the feedback been from those closest to you? How do they perceive, understand, and think about your speech patterns?
5. Have your words weighed. Most people will not give honest and critical feedback about the more profound matters of the heart. You will have to pursue it. Feel free to seek out your friends to serve you with their assessment of your speech patterns.
6. Are you an encourager? Do the people around you feel more encouraged or discouraged after spending time with you? How does your speech affect others? Are you characterized as a redemptive builder by your words? Please explain.

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).