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Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2).
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).
[Jesus,] who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:8).
If you’re ready to address the recalibration of your relationship, here are a few essential tips to consider in sequential order.
Gathering Your Team
1 – Pray: It sounds obvious, but it’s non-negotiable for helpless folks, not those who remain confident in their self-reliance. Plus, nobody can change themselves or anyone else without God’s initiation. Talk to Him.
2 – Appeal: Building a relationship will not work unless both partners are willing to engage the problems with humility and a desire to change. Perhaps you need to ask God to give you the grace and courage to approach your spouse.
3 – Enlist: Let another friend or two know what you’re about to do. This concept is pre-accountability, bringing in others who will pray for you and ask good questions as you move forward.
4 – Responsibility: Think through what you must change, and confess these things to your spouse if your relationship is strong enough to steward vulnerable confessions. If the relationship is not stable enough, you won’t be able to have a transactional conversation, but you can address your issues with the Lord (Psalm 51:10).
Helping Your Spouse
5 – Insight: Ask God to give you clarity on how to help your spouse to become untangled from sin, bad habits, inconsistencies, and other matters that need His intervention (Galatians 6:1-2).
6 – Implement: As the Lord provides insight into your spouse’s struggles, you want to cooperate with Him in restoring your spouse.
7 – Focus: Whatever your mission statement is, always keep it at the top of your mind, talk about it regularly, and make all the needed adjustments to keep moving toward it.
8 – Perseverance: With humility motivating your heart, your words will have the seasoning of grace that encourages each other to continue in the process.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).