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Mable struggled all her life with people-pleasing. She said she could not remember a time when she was free from thinking about what others thought about her. The way she dresses, the car she drives, the technology she carries, and the house she owns are controlled to some degree by what others think about her.
Her counselor quickly discerned her problem as fear of man (Proverbs 29:25). He told her that she needed to be more concerned with pleasing God than others. And from there, the counselor laid out a plan of prayer, Bible study, and service-oriented activities so she could practice a lifestyle of pleasing God.
The mistake the counselor made was not carefully explaining what pleasing God meant to a people-pleasing idolator. Mable embraced a performance-driven, people-pleasing lifestyle decades ago. When she was told to please God rather than others, it was not difficult for her to do. Pleasing others was her strength. Unfortunately, she did not know what pleasing God meant, so she did what she does best: She ratcheted up her obedience.
And a voice came from heaven, You are my beloved Son; with you, I am well pleased (Mark 1:11).
Everything Jesus did pleased God. Christ came to do the will of the Father, and He perfectly completed the task. The Father received the finished work of Christ, which opened a new way for you to please God: you accept the works of Jesus rather than relying on your own (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Without faith, it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6).
Pleasing God is not about what you do, but about resting in the only One who could please God. Even on your best day, with your best works, you would not be acceptable to God (Isaiah 64:6). Mable is a Christian who is trying to please God by performing for Him. Before she met with her counselor, she tried to please others, as noted by the bullet points above. After she had met with her counselor, she switched to trying to please God, as indicated in the examples below. Mable did not change. She only switched who she wanted to like her.
As you can see, when her biblical counselor gave her a list of things to do to please God, Mable was initially excited about her new list. People pleasing, self-reliant, performance-driven people love lists. After a while, she could not juggle her new list of spiritual disciplines for the rest of her life. Eventually, discouragement set in. Then depression. The self-imposed demands were too much. From her perspective, God was not pleased with her, and her poor performance was proof.
Mable’s functional theology was an effort to manage (manipulate) God’s pleasure by what she did rather than what Jesus did. Her understanding of Christ’s work was limited. She believed the gospel was for her salvation, while her obedience was for her sanctification.
Obedience is, of course, important for the Christian. The key idea is to make sure your obedience is not an effort to please God but a response to your faith in God. This idea is the context of Paul’s words to the Corinthians, “We make it our aim to please Him.” (See 2 Corinthians 5:9.) Paul hoped the Corinthians would understand that pleasing God was a walk by faith rather than a walk by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).
The context of the passage was Paul’s appeal for them to trust Christ rather than the things they could see. (See 2 Corinthians 4:16-18) If the Corinthians trusted (faith) Christ the way Paul outlined, they would please God. Obedience is the biblical response from a person who is trusting Christ. It pleases God when you trust Him, and because you trust Him, you obey Him. The logic would flow like this:
Mable needs to start over again. She needs to understand that pleasing God means trusting the finished works of Christ. God has a good opinion of Mable if she is trusting His Son for salvation and sanctification. She must inculcate this truth into her brain. Because she is a Christian, she is “in Christ,” and she cannot be any more in Christ. Being more obedient does not make her more in Christ. God’s pleasure in you does not ebb and flow.
She must guard her heart against the subtle deception that what she does through obedience can merit a better standing before God. This temptation is her biggest struggle because she is an insecure, people-pleasing, co-dependent, performance-driven person.
Warning: If you are not practically resting in the identity that Christ gave you through His finished works, you can subtly slip into an obedient lifestyle, thinking what you do pleases God as though there is some merit system based on your works.
Obedience is what a person who is trusting Christ does. Obedience is not something you work at, as though you need a list. Obedience flows out of the ontological realities of the heart. It is the consistent and expected life of a person who is born again (James 2:17). James taught that if you are a Christian, the fruit of obedience will grow from your life. Faith without works is dead. Obedience is an assumption. It’s an expected response for every believer. It’s the “if, then” continuum.
Some may argue this is quietism or passive obedience. If that is the argument, you’ve missed the point. That would be like saying because I am a human, I passively grow. You will not grow by inactivity. You must make practical and intentional choices to eat if you want to improve but those things do not make you human. The reason you make those choices is that you are a human.
I prefer the term gospel-motivated works as a way to define obedience. I would want to direct Mable regarding her motive for obedience rather than merely trying to give her a list of obedient things to do. Her counselor did not do this. He tried to make Mable switch the object of her obedience from people to God. Mable did not need to change the object of her obedience. She needed to change her motives for obedience.
Jesus said if you love Him, you will keep His commandments (John 14:15). Of course, you would. That is the assumption. That is what James was saying (James 2:17). The operative phrase is if you love Him. The reason you love Christ is that He first loved you (1 John 4:19). It would break down like this:
It relieved and encouraged Mable to know she did not have to please God to gain His good opinion. She understood how her standing before God was as secure today as it was when He first acted upon her. Mable’s Bible knowledge began to change. She needed more time to change her “functional knowledge,” or how she lived it out daily. Her life was consumed by people-pleasing, which made her unclear about gospel-motivated obedience. It was a complete paradigm shift because of how her legalism shaped her toward a God-pleasing lifestyle.
Let’s go back to my human analogy. If you are a human, there are several assumptions with being human. For example, people eat, sleep, walk, talk, learn, and grow. If a human did not do these things, he would break down in some way. Being a Christian is similar. Below are five “Christian assumptions” that all Christians do. These things do not make or keep you a Christian but are by-products of being a Christian. I’ll make five “if you are a Christian, you will (fill in the blank)” statements, and I’ll explain them below.
Gospel Motivated Mercy
Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow-servant, as I had mercy on you? (Matthew 18:32-33).
There is an assumption from the master that this guy should have remembered what happened to him in the courtroom. If he had recognized and respected the gospel, he would have gone out and modeled (obedience) gospel-mercy to a man who owed him far less than what he owed. The master was asking him a question that you may paraphrase this way:
Because I had mercy on you through the gospel, you should have done the same for your friend. You should have been obedient. That is what I would expect from my children.
Call to Action:
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Paul taught how you tie your motive for obedience to the gospel. You should not be bitter or angry or a slanderer because of the model you see through Christ, who forgave you. A person who respects the gospel will forgive, which is a proper act of obedience.
Call to Action:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).
A husband who understands the gospel will love his wife sacrificially. He will learn, love, and lead her. His sacrifice (obedience to God) for her will be unending, and his affection for her will be unceasing.
Call to Action:
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy (1 Timothy 1:15-16).
Paul considered himself to be the chief of sinners. He was #1 in his book. The individual forgiven of much is thankful of much. The most grateful Christians are those who never forget that God did not get a good deal when He got them. Humility is an act of obedience born out of a right understanding of the gospel.
Call to Action:
For to this, you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps (1 Peter 2:21).
It is the Christian’s privilege and opportunity to share (obedience) in the sufferings of Christ. The more you understand the suffering aspect of the gospel, the more you will be motivated to glorify God while you suffer.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).