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48 Case Studies 21: The Silent Partner

Case Study The Silent Partner

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Biff refuses to engage in meaningful conversation with his wife, Mable, often going weeks with only what she calls his “efficiency speech.” He speaks to her only to address logistical or practical matters of the home but avoids all intimate interaction, relationship building, and mutual care.

Life Over Coffee · 48 Case Studes 21: The Silent Partner

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The children appear to cope with their father’s limited interaction, but their five-year-old son, Biffy, shows signs of worry and insecurity. Biffy loves his dad but is confused by Biff’s cyclic behavior and relational distance. Recently, he asked his mom if his dad was mad at him. Though Mable reassured him, Biffy seemed unconvinced.

Mable reveals that Biff has always struggled with anger, even before they married. His silent treatment has been his primary way of expressing frustration or dissatisfaction. Biff’s behavior is deeply hurtful to Mable, who experiences his neglect and dismissiveness. She has described it as a sanitized version of murder, echoing James 4:1-3.

  • Physical murder says, “I do not like you, so I am going to make sure you do not exist by killing you.”
  • Silent treatment says, “I do not like you, so I am going to treat you as though you do not exist by not speaking to you.”

Case Study Questions

  1. What are your top three questions for Biff?
  2. How would you offer hope and help to Mable?
  3. What would be your counsel to them regarding Biffy?

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