48 Case Studies 02: To Date or Not to Date

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Biffina is 18 years old, the oldest of four children in a close-knit Christian family. Her parents, Biff and Mable, have consistently taught their children God’s Word and modeled it faithfully. The children have embraced their parents’ teaching, and no significant issues have arisen within the family.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

One of the principles Biff has emphasized is that dating should only happen when his children are ready for marriage and when a suitable person comes along. He understood 
how assessments are subjective, hence the concern. His preference was that dating would only occur after college. This teaching was well-received, and all the children initially agreed with it.

Now, in her first semester at the local university, Biffina has approached her father to share that she wants to date and has already started seeing a boy on campus. This new development has left Biff and Mable trying to figure out how to respond. They want to respect her independence as an adult but are hesitant because of their strong preference against dating at this stage in her life.

Biff and Mable come to you seeking advice on how to navigate this situation biblically. They want to know how to maintain a godly influence while allowing their daughter the freedom to make her own decisions.

Case Study Questions

1. Is it wrong for Biffina to date? Why or why not?
2. What does honoring her parents look like now that she is living outside their home?
3. What Scriptures would you use to guide the parents in this situation?
4. If Biffina sought counsel, how would you guide her?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).