When Obedience Collides With My Emotions

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When your heart is not being obedient because you “just don’t feel like doing the right thing,” you need to be obedient anyway to get your heart in the right place. We’ve all had those times of being out-of-sorts and apathetic about doing the right thing. It’s not a posture of the heart to applaud, but how do you move forward when desires are low? In such cases, rote, black-and-white obedience is a great way to change what’s going on inside of you.

You may want to read:

• I Got Angry At My Daughter the Other Day
• Why the Term Emotional Abuse Is Unhelpful and Misleading
• The Danger of Trying to Please God and Gain His Favor

A few years ago I was sharing with a friend about how difficult it was to discipline our kids. Because he was a friend, there was a relational bridge for him to speak truth into my life, and he did. My friend was kind and caring but clear and direct. He said,

Rick, as a dad, I understand how difficult it can be to discipline children, but your resistance to discipline reveals more about your theology than anything else.

As I considered his well-placed words, I came to four conclusions about how true biblical theology conflicted with my understanding and practice of theology.

• I must fulfill obedience requirements regardless of how I feel about them.
• My understanding of biblical love was not complete. There is a toughness to loving someone well. According to Isaiah 53:10, it pleased the Father to crush His Son.
• My weak theological foundation about love weakened my parenting.
• My understanding of the theology of suffering needed to mature (Genesis 50:20).

The Lord knew that a cross for Christ was a hard and difficult experience (Hebrews 2:14-15). He also knew it was necessary because it was the way to salvation. Sometimes theology is hard, painful, and even emotionally difficult to fulfill (Luke 22:42). But that should not be an excuse for us to shrink back from practicing sound theology. Regarding my particular parenting case, it would be unloving not to step up and discipline our children lovingly when they need corrective care. Are there times in your life when your feelings about a matter cancel out your biblical obedience?

Let me give you another example: I do not enjoy hearing myself speak. I have said that I would not walk across the street to listen to me teach. Perhaps you’ve heard yourself on a recording and had similar thoughts. In those moments of angst about hearing myself, I could choose never to step on a stage and teach again, a response that would be unwise and counter to the Christian commission to go into all the world and make disciples (Matthew 28:16-20). If I opted for self-centeredness, I would disobey God by not telling others about the glories of Calvary.

Call to Action

Is there an area where you need to be obedient about a matter even though your emotions are lagging behind? Name one of those things. Here are a few examples for your consideration:

• Confessing your sin to another person when you don’t feel motivated to do so?
• Forgiving someone who has sinned against you when you feel you are right and he is dead wrong?
• Caving to people-pleasing rather than taking a stand for God because you know taking a stand for what you believe will have repercussions?
• Refusing to tell someone about the “foolish” Christ 
(1 Corinthians 1:18) because you’re afraid of how they may respond to you?

Being feeling-driven means our thinking is not in line with the gospel. There are times when we permit those sinful thoughts to drive how we respond to God and others. We might use language like “I don’t feel like it.” If this is a temptation for you, there are two things to consider:

• Your feelings reveal your thinking. Thus, you must repent of sinful thinking, which will alter your emotions.
• One way to jumpstart the process is to do what you know to do, anticipating your feelings will eventually change because you chose to be obedient regardless of how you feel about the matter.

When our thoughts are not in line with God’s Word, obedience may not come easily. But obedience that flows from faith is still obedience—even when it begins without strong desire. There will be seasons when your heart lags behind, reluctant and slow to move. In those moments, you don’t wait for your emotions to catch up—you lead your heart by submitting your mind to the truth and walking it out. Transformation often begins with obedience that seems small, quiet, and even mechanical. But in time, that obedience becomes the pathway to renewed thinking, restored joy, and deepened faith.

This book was written to help you engage in that process—to give you practical tools for identifying, rejecting, and replacing thoughts that oppose the knowledge of God. I trust these pages have served you well in that aim. But this work is ongoing. Our minds remain active, and the spiritual war for our thoughts is relentless. I encourage you to return to these principles often, using this resource as a training ground for continued maturity in Christ. Better yet, teach what you’ve learned to someone else. Invite a friend into the journey. Help them bring their thoughts into obedience to Christ, just as you are learning to do. This conjoined effort is how we grow together—as disciples who think rightly, love sacrificially, and walk faithfully in step with our Savior.

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).