Case Study: Your High Standards Tempt Me to Lie

Photo: ©Aleksei Isachenko from Aleksei Isachenko photos via Canva.com

Mable is insecure. It is hard for her to admit mistakes. Trying to be perfect in an imperfect world while craving the opinion of others are two ways in which her self-righteousness truncates her relationships with God and others.

Her family sees her for who she is, but they can never honestly say what they think because Mable is not humble enough to receive their evaluations about her faults.

Her self-righteousness has had an even more detrimental effect on her husband, Biff. He has sin issues, and Mable has not been shy about expressing her disappointment in Biff through nagging, criticism, and demeaning attitudes.

Recently she told him that if he continued in his sin patterns, she would leave him. Biff said during a private counseling session,

I don’t want to sin anymore, and I’m trying hard not to. I have spent more time in prayer than any other time in my life. I have been reading my Bible, and I’ve set-up accountability partners to help guard my heart against falling back into sin’s traps.

I don’t think I am making excuses, but I’m not sure I can live a life of perfection. I know it sounds wrong, but I’m tempted to lie to her when she asks me how I’m doing.

Case Study Questions

1. Should Biff be completely transparent with Mable? Why did you answer that way?
2. What is your counsel to him?
3. How would you counsel Mable?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).