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Marriage Day 4: The Main Reason You Need Someone

Marriage Day 4: The Main Reason You Need Someone

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31-Day Marriage Devotion Resources

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him (Genesis 2:18).

The difference in how you read this verse depends on whether you are looking through a dirty or clean presuppositional window. If you are interpreting Adam’s situation through the lens of your depravity, it would be easy to conclude that Adam was sinfully lacking and longing for more than what he had. If you are interpreting Adam’s situation through the presuppositional lens of contentment, which was his state prior to the fall, your understanding of why the Lord said it was not good for him to be alone will be different. The tendency is to look at Genesis 2:18 from our fallen experience of loneliness and needs, which can tempt us to upload the text from a sin-centered, dirty window perspective. Thus, we will look back at the text while mapping our fallen experience over it. Adam was not in sin at the time of this text. His thoughts and feelings were remarkably different from how we experience life.

It had not occurred to Adam that there was a problem with not having a wife since no such thing existed at that time. The cliche “you can’t know what you can’t know” has an important application. It reminds me of a newly hatched duck that sees a dog before anything else. What does it do? It follows the dog, which becomes the duck’s parent. A duck does not know what you know, so it follows the dog. Adam was living large. He was benefiting from all the Lord created. To speculate that Adam sinfully longed for something that did not exist would be pushing the text too far. Adam was the hatched duckling. His life was awesome, but the Lord was in creative mode. He knew what needed to happen, and Adam was not part of the decision-making committee (Genesis 1:26-27). Adam’s role was to be the happy recipient of whatever the Lord decided to bring his way.

What Adam lacked was not someone to fill his empty love cup but someone who would allow him to display God in the world in a fuller and more robust way. Adam was like the world’s greatest baseball player, with no place to play. He was suited up and equipped but had no construct or companion to do the one thing he was designed to do, which was to image the divine community of Father, Son, and Spirit. Adam did not need love but needed someone to receive his love. When Jesus talked about relationships, He did not talk about what we needed from them but what we needed to do for them. For example, when Christ talked about how to live out the Bible well, He said to love the Lord and others were the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40). The primary direction of God’s love is always toward others, not toward ourselves (John 3:16). We give what we possess. We love God and others as we love ourselves.

When Paul talked about a man’s relationship with his wife, He said that he should give his life for her (Ephesians 5:25). When Paul gave his version of the two great commandments, he stated that we should count others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4). In a God-centered world, our thoughts are always directed to God and others, just as we love ourselves, which is critical insight when we think about Adam’s world. He did not need Eve as though there was something sinfully wrong with him. He needed Eve so he could more effectively image the community that created him. Eve did not need Adam’s love because there was nothing sinfully wrong with her. She needed Adam so she could have the opportunity to put the Trinity on display, similar to her husband.

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Time to Reflect

What is the main reason you want your spouse—to meet your desires or to spread the fame of God by imitating the Trinity, which you can do by modeling the mantra: it’s more blessed to give than to receive. Please explain your answer.

Practical Suggestion

In the context of this devotion, you must ensure the direction of your love goes from you and not toward you. What do you need to change about yourself to position your marriage to more effectively spread God’s fame?

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