0

Parenting Day 3: Non-negotiable First Step to Build a Happy Home

Parenting, Day 3 - Non-negotiable First Step to Build a Happy Home

Photo: ©Hakase_ from Getty Images Pro via Canva.com

Life Over Coffee Devotions

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32).

Christians enjoy and benefit from the gospel because of forgiveness (see Romans 10:9, 13). For example, we confessed our sins and requested forgiveness, and our kind Lord forgave us. Confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation are the stepping stones to happiness (Deuteronomy 33:29). If you want a happy home, you must imitate God at this crucial point (Ephesians 5:1).

During the first five years of our marriage, I never asked Lucia to forgive me for any sins I committed against her. That is a staggering thing to say. Let me state the obvious here: my view of God, humanity, and sin was sub-biblical. My gospel understanding and practices suffered because of my weak theological perspectives (Hebrews 5:12-14; 1 Peter 2:2-3). One of the most transformative relationship-building questions you will ever ask another person is, “Will you forgive me?” Forgiveness is how your relationship with God began, and the process is similar for His image-bearers (Genesis 1:27; Ephesians 5:1).

A Christian who does not regularly ask for forgiveness is like the son of a millionaire who has no awareness of his daddy’s fortune. Or even worse, he is aware of his father’s wealth but refuses to benefit from it (1 Peter 1:4). Forgiveness is a free and unlimited gift from the Lord. Still, it requires humility to access it, whether you are asking for it from someone or granting it to someone. The person who is not regularly asking for forgiveness is either self-deceived, is a pretender, or is living in denial of the doctrine of sin. A forgiven person—who is authentically residing in the grace of God’s forgiveness—is willing to ask for and grant forgiveness. Reflect on these seven steps to see where you are in building a happy home.

Seven Simple Steps

  1. Be Honest: You know when you sin (1 John 1:7-10; Romans 2:14-15).
  2. Walk In the Spirit: When you sense God’s illumination, step into it. Don’t run, but obey Him in all things.
  3. Practice Forgiveness: Don’t say “I’m sorry” or apologize. Push the biblical envelope by pursuing radical reconciliation. Ask for transactional forgiveness.
  4. Start With God: Don’t ask others to forgive you while not asking God to forgive you. All sin is a sin against God.
  5. Be Specific: “Will you forgive me for (name the sin)?” Let them know that you know how you have sinned. Do not let them let you off the hook. Make them forgive you. Be convincing, persuasive, and unrelenting in your pursuit of forgiveness.
  6. Surrender: Give up your rights by submitting yourself to the authority of God and His Word. Choose no other option until you are released from your sins and restored to those you offended.
  7. Remember: There is power in forgiveness. After the Father had executed His Son on the cross (Isaiah 53:10), He made it possible to release any person from the guilt and punishment that all sin deserves (Romans 6:23). As a Christian, you have the grace-empowered privilege to live daily in a guilt-free home if you are honest with yourself, God, and others.

After Lucia and I began to see the gospel with more practical clarity, we started to live in a sanctification sweet spot that radically changed our home. We replaced the guilt, burden, shame, unresolved conflict, and the proverbial pink elephants flying around the room with the love, joy, peace, hope, and mercy that Christ offers through practicing forgiveness.

Time To Parent

  1. Would you characterize your home as a place where confession and forgiveness regularly happen? If not, why not?
  2. Are all the members of your home committed to practical transactional forgiveness? Please explain.
  3. What specific plan will you implement to help motivate all your family members to be forgiveness askers and receivers?

Need More Help?

  1. If you want to learn more from us, you may search this site for thousands of resources—articles, podcasts, videos, graphics, and more. Please spend time studying the ones that interest you. They are free.
  2. If you want to talk to us, we have private forums for those who support this ministry financially. Please support us here if you want to help us keep our resources free.

Mastermind Program Web Ready Banner