May I Change My Mind After Deciding Something?

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You have made your decision in faith. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. Now you’re having second thoughts. Is it okay to change your mind? Or are you bound to the decision you have made with no other alternative but to live with the consequences? Is it possible to be in faith for the decision, but things have changed to such a degree that you have the biblical right to change your mind?

You may want to read:

• How to Make a Good Decision About Anything “In Faith”
• Three Tips for Moving Forward When Things Are Hard
• Eight Practical and Transforming Ways to Think About Your Past

Five Assessments

Even biblical decision-making is an imperfect process because all of us are subjective. Only God can look at a situation and make an objective decision. We’re always working from a fallen condition that is not sanctified entirely. Plus, due to our lack of omniscience, we’re operating with limited data. Thus, it’s not unusual to make a decision and then have buyer’s remorse. I’m sure that after Peter decided to get off the boat and walk to Jesus, he doubted his decision (Matthew 14:28-33). There are times when the Lord orchestrates adverse outcomes from our decisions and we should not seek another path forward (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). At other times, we make a poor decision, and God’s wisdom suggests we do something different. However, before you change your mind about something that you thought was the right thing to do, make sure you assess yourself properly.

• Be Teachable: Humility is a gift from God (James 4:6). Ask God for this mercy and pursue it aggressively. It is the best gift when making a decision. Coming to the Father with a “not my will, but Your will be done” attitude is the way you want to begin the process of making a decision or rethinking a past decision.
• Be Suspicious: If you understand that the log is in your eye (Matthew 7:3-5), you will be humbly suspicious of yourself. It is wisdom and humility to consider that you could be wrong in a matter. Suspicion does not have to be fear-based, but it must be discernment-based. We are self-deceived in certain areas. We have blind spots. We are in the wrong place if we think we have all the right answers. Healthy suspicion is a good thing.
• Pray Often: Talking to God should go without saying, but I will say it anyway. Spend much time with your Father, seeking and asking while expressing gratitude for His continued acceptance of you and favor in your life. Pray much (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
• Search the Scriptures: The Bible will give you direct and indirect commands. Scriptures will tell you directly not to commit adultery, not to steal, and not to get drunk. It will say to serve others, to forgive others, and to be kind to others. The Bible is clear in many ways. However, the Bible does not speak specifically to every situation, like whether you should go to college or start a Roth IRA. You can apply some Scriptures to your life directly. There are other things where you want to move cautiously. Either way, the Bible gives you all you need for life and godliness. See 2 Peter 1:3.
• Seek Counsel: You will find wisdom and safety in counsel (Proverbs 24:6). Seek those who are a little farther down the road than you are. Though I’m not opposed to peer counseling, I would caution anyone about receiving counsel from those who are similar to you. Find the individuals you trust and who possess the wisdom to speak to your situation.

With these assessments in view, how would you rate yourself? Meeting with a friend to do life over coffee would be perfect for evaluating yourself. Here are your questions.

• Are you a teachable person?
• Are you appropriately suspicious of yourself?
• Have you been praying often about this matter?
• Do you know what God’s Word says about your decision?
• Is the person helping you make your decision competent?

Even abiding by the best methods found in the Bible, it is possible to make a decision that you regret. Perhaps it was the wrong decision. Maybe it was the right thing to do, but you’re struggling with doubt. Fortunately, the solution is not that complicated. Here are two guiding truths that can help when it comes to second-guessing your decisions.

Maintain a Biblical Course

It’s okay to change your mind as long as your new decision is biblically better and biblically permitted. Perhaps new information that you didn’t have came to light after you made the initial decision. Here are three examples of this idea.

Example #1: You change your mind about being married.

To get married is a biblical, God-honoring decision, but there are three ways in which you can change your mind about being married. Death is the one change that you have no control over; it happens, and you have to change your mind when death comes. The other two options that allow you to change your mind are abandonment and adultery, as spelled out in 1 Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19. These three conditions permit you to change your mind about being married. However, it’s important to know that biblical permission to leave your marriage—according to options two and three—does not mean you should leave your marriage. Though Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 are part of God’s infallible Word, the greater point of God’s entire Word is reconciliation. From Genesis to Revelation, the purpose of God’s Word is God reconciling Himself to humanity. Just because you may have an out, it does not mean you have to take it, though, under these three stipulations outlined in God’s Word, you can change your mind about your marriage.

Example #2: You can change your mind if you are in sin.

If you choose to commit adultery, for instance, changing your mind is not only preferable but mandated. In such a case, you decided to sin, and at some point afterward, you came to another decision. You have new information, and you believe it is better than the past information—the choice to sin. In such a case, you change your mind and begin living according to the new information. This change of mind is also called repentance.

Example #3: You can change your mind if there is new or better information.

You make all kinds of decisions throughout your life. You base these decisions on the information you possess at the time. Later, based on new data or different circumstances, you decide that another course of action is the best route to take. Maybe you have received better counsel. Perhaps there is new information, and now you have come to a different awareness. It may not have been a sin to make the first decision, as opposed to example #2, but now you realize it would be better to change your mind. In such cases, it is not wrong. Though you were in faith before, you are no longer in faith to stay in the same place. You change your mind and move in a different direction with a new belief.

Understand Progressive Sanctification

Changing your mind happens all the time with progressive sanctification (1 Corinthians 13:11). There are many things that I believed were right when God first regenerated me, but I have come to a different place in my faith. I’ve changed my mind about the type of Bible I read, the clothes I wear, the music I listen to, and the places I go. There are many more areas where I have changed my mind, and I hope to continue to change my mind on many things throughout my life. If you want to mature as a Christian, you must change your mind in ways that are biblically better and biblically permitted.

Call to Action

1. What is your motive for changing your mind?
2. Does the Bible permit you to change your mind about an issue?
3. Are you sinning to change your mind to a new way of living?
4. If you do change your mind, what new information (or situation) has come to light?
5. What do the Canon, community, and Comforter say about you changing your mind?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).