Case Study: Past Sex Thoughts In Current Marriage

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Biff comes to you for counseling. He is a member of your church and recently married Mable. Her family has been members of your church all their lives. Mable grew up attending Christian schools and is now a teacher in your church school.

Their relationship was the talk of the church, and everyone was thrilled when Mable and Biff announced they were getting married. They courted for two years.

Biff reveals to you that while Mable was a virgin at marriage, he was not. Up until the time God saved him about three years ago, he was immoral. Upon coming to Christ, he gave up sexual immorality and began taking the leadership role in establishing clear guidelines of conduct for their dating relationship.

He was honest with Mable about his past. Before their wedding, he shared with her his pre-salvation lifestyle. He loves Mable deeply, and the reason he has come to you is that when they are intimate together, he has images of other girls in his mind.

He sees their faces and the things they did together, which bothers him. He has not told Mable what is going on in his mind. He wants your help to overcome these ungodly thought patterns.

Case Study Questions

1. Is Biff obligated to talk to Mable about his thought life? Why or why not? Depending on your answer, how would you counsel Biff to proceed?
2. How would you counsel Biff about overcoming his thought life?
3. How would you counsel Mable?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).