1 – Everybody has a sad past, but everybody should not talk about all the bones in their closets. Select those who you want to know your truth.
2 – Divvy your friends up into ever-expanding circles, with your innermost circle knowing the most about you.
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3 – Every person is not mature enough to know all there is to know about you.
4 – It is unwise to tell your entire story to every individual, even every person in your small group.
5 – Jesus withheld the truth from His disciples, as well as the Pharisees.
6 – Wise parents incrementally reveal more and more truth to their children, e.g., the sex talk.
7 – The primary key is your motive: do you want to hide the truth, or do you want to live an honest, transparent life?
8 – Jesus had pure motives, though He withheld the truth from certain people (John 16:12).
9 – It does not have to mean you’re dishonest if you hold back the truth from some people.
10 – There are situations where people broadcast your actions to the world like Michael Vick or Tiger Woods. In such cases, you have to work through the negative side effects because you have no choice.
11 – Other times, only a few people may know about your past, and that is as far as it needs to go. (It is wise to have a close friend or spiritual mentor who knows a lot about you.)
12 – As far as condemnation goes, your biggest challenge is in your mind. You must learn the skill of defeating false arguments. Master my article, How To Take Every Thought Captive. You must flip the negative narrative in your life:
13 – There may be times where you have to tell others about your past because it’s unavoidable:
14 – The main thing is that you must fixate on your real identity, which is who you are in Christ. David committed heinous sins, but he was known as a man after God’s heart. You hunger for God; make the Lord your pursuit and Christ your identity. When false arguments rear up, learn how to defeat them in the company of a few good friend.
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.
In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).