Case Study: The Spear You Sharpen May Stab You In the Heart

Photo: ©JackF from Getty Images via Canva.com

Five years ago Mable met Biff and had a whirlwind dating relationship. They were impure but rationalized what they were doing by marrying hastily. Though friends had reservations about them marrying, no one spoke into their lives because the couple kept themselves at arm’s length from caring relationships.

Mable’s criticalness and insecurity fed into Biff’s desires for respect and affirmation. Four years later, Biff began a flirtatious relationship with another woman. Within six months, his involvement with her became adulterous.

Biff’s sins are numerous, and he is entirely responsible for all of them. Through counseling, he has admitted and repented of his sins. Currently, he is walking out repentance. His humility and life change have been inspiring.

Mable is not repentant at all. She is angry, accusative, and divisive. Mable’s anger blinds her to how she has been an “accomplice” in his sin. The spear she has been sharpening for years is now stabbing her in the heart.

Her craving for approval and acceptance chokes the life out of her relationships. Though she is not responsible for Biff’s sins, she cannot see how her attitude has helped push her husband out the door and into the arms of another woman.

No one familiar with this story condones what Biff has done, but it is quite obvious to all that it took two to destroy the marriage.

Case Study Questions:

1. With much detail, how would you counsel Mable?
2. With much detail, how would you counsel Biff?

Need More Help?

1. If you want to learn more from us, you may search this site for thousands of resources—articles, podcasts, videos, graphics, and more. Please spend time studying the ones that interest you. They are free.
2. If you want to talk to us, we have private forums for those who support this ministry financially. Please consider supporting us here if you would like to help us keep our resources free.

Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).