Parenting Day 7: Your Words Shape Your Child’s Life

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Life Over Coffee Devotions

• 31-Day Marriage Devotion
• 31-Day Parenting Devotion
• 31-Day Young Adult Devotion

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).

I had a conversation with our son when he was younger, sharing with him how he would be my replacement. It was a sobering thought. One day, our son will grow up and become a practical demonstration of what I have modeled for him. The good and the bad of my life work together to bring shape to his adult life.

When I am older and my pace slows, he will jog onto the field of life, take the ball from me, and run into the next generation. He will likely assume the role of a husband and a father as I go to the sidelines to join that cloud of witnesses with the other aging athletes past their prime. I will become an observer of my work in his life. Your children are like moldable pieces of clay that God has given to you to shape by teaching them about God, guiding them to God, and releasing them into God’s world.

The primary way you mold your child is by the life you live before him and the words you speak to him. Do not be self-deceived about this matter: you are the most impactful picture that your child will ever see. And believe me, he is closely watching you. Each day, your child examines, ponders, analyzes, and determines if your life is worthy of his emulation. Though he will probably never tell you these things, your life actions are inevitably causing positive and negative reactions that will set the trajectory of your child’s life. While it is true that God can overwrite your works in your child’s life, you are not allowed to presume on His grace (Psalm 19:13).

One of the most potent ways you influence your children is your opinion of them (Proverbs 29:25). How you think about your children is connected to their greatest joys and biggest disappointments. You can lift them with your words or devastate them with what you say to them. Your comments are like ready soldiers that march off your tongue to destroy or build up those around you. In that way, you are no different from your children: the opinion of your heavenly Father means everything to you.

Mercifully, He loves you to death (Isaiah 53:10; John 3:16). Because of His great love for you, your soul is set free to be the best child that you can be in His world. You want to model your heavenly Father’s affection for you to your kids. You want them to hear and feel your words of encouragement (Romans 2:4). You have the power to build them up and have the authority to tear them down. All of that power sits on your tongue and comes from your heart (Luke 6:45).

Time to Parent

1. Because of the gospel, you benefit from God’s boundless love. Now, He calls you to imitate Him to your children (Ephesians 5:1). These questions will help you examine how you’re imitating your heavenly Father to your child.
2. The gospel informs you that God is pleased with you (Romans 8:31). Is your child more aware of your pleasure or displeasure in him?
3. The gospel speaks peace into your chaos and transforms you. How are you speaking into your child’s life to bring God-glorifying transformation to him?
4. You act out the gospel by serving rather than expecting others to serve you (Mark 10:45). What concrete and practical ways are you helping your child?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).