Case Study: I Can’t Connect With My Church

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Sylvia’s mother says that her daughter has a hard time connecting with the people at her local church. The mom, Mrs. Avery, has called you to ask your advice on how to counsel her daughter. Sylvia has been married for 13 years and has been attending South Shore Community Church in Galveston, TX for 14 months with her husband and two kids.

South Shore is a Reformed Baptist Church with approximately 1700 members. They have two services on Sunday morning and several Bible studies and other programs throughout the week, including weekly small group meetings.

Sylvia’s mother says that Sylvia is shy by nature and has a hard time meeting others. She also believes South Shore is “just too big” for her daughter to attend. Though Mrs. Avery likes all the ministries that the church provides for her daughter, she thinks a smaller church would suit Sylvia and her family better.

Case Study Questions

1. What would you tell Sylvia’s mother?
2. If you were counseling Sylvia, what step-by-step process would you layout for her to help her think biblically about how to make this decision?
3. What are some of the things missing in this situation that hinder you from truly helping her?
4. Since the words “shy” and “connecting” are not helpful terms, what words would you use to help Mrs. Avery (Sylvia’s mom) think more biblically about the situation?
5. Sylvia and Mrs. Avery are in the lyrics of a classic rock song. What is the name of that song?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).