Ep. 323 Do You Call a Boy Pretending to Be a Girl a Girl’s Name?

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Shows Main Idea – The Christian community can no longer act as though the culture is out there, and they can leave us alone. The culture is in the church, dividing the body of Christ, and we must deal with it. One of the more divisive and emotional issues is the transgender problem. For example, if a man pretending to be a woman asks you to use their new female name, what would you do?

Show Notes

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• The False Assurance of Knowing Something
• Dangerous Challenge for Standing on Your Convictions
• 10 Helpful Ideas When Speaking Against Cancel Culture

It’s in Our House

• As part of our Mastermind Program, we must be training our students in all things about life and godliness. Cultural issues are part of their training regimen. We would not do well if we ignore something of this magnitude and culture-changing.
• Every Christian would do well to do similarly. The conservative perspective, in part, is to leave us alone. The progressives will not do that. Their goal is to indoctrinate your children. A generation lost to us is a win for them.
• What would you do if a trans person asked you to use their trans name? Before you answer too quickly, here are a few things to consider. I will approach this problem with three levels of difficulty.

Level One – Many Precedents

1. We call people by names and titles all the time.
   1. Honorary doctor is not a title a person earns but a subjective assessment and honor given to someone.
   2. A married couple who does not like their last name changes it to “Smith.”
   3. An actor changes his name from Marion Morrison to John Wayne.
   4. A person chooses to change their name to another same-gender name.
2. Nobody struggles with these changes.
3. Are you able to suspend your biases when thinking about a boy named Sue?

Honest Reflection: Do you agree that people have changed their names to something else and accepted titles they did not earn, regardless of the intent or your rationalization for being okay with these changes?

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• Cancel Culture Manipulates You to See Things Their Way
• Mix Power and Disdain for Others: You Get Cancel Culture
• Should We Passively Watch Our Constitution Erode?

Level Two – Degree of Difficulty

1. We are willing to call them according to the designation.
   1. Out of respect, we call them by their preferred name or title.
2. The problem here is if they resist or become angry when you bring up the facts about the name change.
   1. An honorary doctor is not an earned doctor but a subjectively assessed title given.
   2. The “Smiths” do not come from a long line of Smiths.
   3. John Wayne must accept the fact that his birth name was Marion Morrison.
3. The problem for most folks is that they cannot suspend their biblical bias about the transgender issue, so they are inconsistent when it comes to naming changes.
4. I’m not making a case for transgender name-changing but merely stating a factual inconsistency with some folks.

Honest Reflection: Are you willing to call some folks by their name change or unearned title while not doing so for others? What are your reasons for the differences, if there are differences?

You may want to read:

• Learning How to Respond to a World You Don’t Like
• The Transgender Problem Is the Tip of a Larger Iceberg
• Irritated with What a Person Does Keeps You from Helping Them

Level Three – Taking a Stand

1. What if the person asks you to use their preferred pronouns, e.g., he, her, him?
   1. Of course, you would hardly ever run into this problem if you talked to them face to face because you don’t talk to someone in the third person.
2. Part of your decision-making here is working through your reasons for consistency or inconsistency in the previous section.
3. When it comes to a trans person, will you use their preferred name when talking about them?
   1. If you use their preferred name, are you lying, showing respect, or something else?
   2. If you call John Wayne by his stage name, are you lying?
4. How do you address the conscience issue with biology? A male is a male, and a female is a female, and a person pretending to be the opposite sex is pretending.

Honest Reflection: Will you work through the conscience issue—lying or not? Also, how will you talk to them about them, and the attitude in which you will talk with them?

Level Four – Counting the Cost

1. As much as I don’t like this problem, I would call him Caitlyn if I were talking to him. However, if he insisted that I refer to him as a woman, I would not do that because it would be a lie.
2. Many folks listening to this will have a knee-jerk response that will tempt them to react impulsively. I understand the frustration, but we must show more self-control, think more reflectively, and respond more biblically. Perhaps you have nothing on the line; if so, you want to position yourself as a messenger of calmness, clarity, courage, and biblical competence for those who are at the crux of losing something.
   1. What would you do if your job was on the line if you did not submit to woke ideology?
   2. What if you’re a student with aspirations of attending a particular college, and your conscience drives you to answer your high school test questions according to truth, not woke indoctrination?
3. These questions are too real for too many people. What these people do not need is grandstanding, brisk missives, or detached authoritarianism. We need to carefully think through these issues and bring thoughtful and biblical clarity.

Call to Action

1. Are you okay calling people by their preferred names or titles even though those names or titles were not given at birth or earned through academic rigors? Make your case for your reasoning.
2. Do you hold to your reasoning consistently? For example, would you call a person a “doctor” who did not earn a doctorate, or would you call a man by his new name as long as he chose a male name?
3. Though you might not be in a place of consequential loss, think through how you would respond if your job or reputation were in jeopardy or if you faced potential criminal charges for going against woke ideology.

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).