Ep. 481 Rick and Lucia Answering Your Questions

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Shows Main Idea – Rick and Lucia Thomas answer a stack of questions from our Life Over Coffee community. They address marriage conflict, communication, anger, dating, introversion, parenting, functional atheism, confronting others, and much more. You’ll love their interaction and the practical application of the gospel in their lives as they share with you things they have learned as a couple imperfectly following God.

Show Notes

You may want to read:

• The Most Perfect Relationship You Will Ever Have
• Enjoying God: My Wife’s Break from a Legalistic Perspective
• Rick and Lucia Talking about Lust in Their Marriage

A Few of the Questions

1. 1. What is the difference between self-sufficiency and self-reliance?
   2. How did you meet your wife, and what would life be like without her?
   3. What specific advice would you give introverts to maintaining relationships and making new ones to envelope people into your closer sphere of influence?
   4. You said feelings come from thoughts, but that translates differently from person to person. Is there a biblical reason or example for everyone to try to achieve an ideal balance of showing more or less emotion? Is it a sin to show different amounts of emotion?
   5. Many arguments with older couples seem to be recurring shortcomings or sins. How do you fight the discouragement from not growing in sanctification, as those frequent sins don’t disappear? I guess this can be individually, or as a couple.
   6. Can you elaborate on the concept of being a restorative friend? Is that something that happens providentially, or is it wise to be intentional?
   7. When do you not address or confront someone lost in anger?
   8. How do we handle the mess of others without internalizing it, being grieved by the weight of others’ burdens to the point of discouragement?
   9. How does one move from scriptural knowledge to scriptural application and soul care?
   10. What tools would you recommend, apart from the Bible, for the new believer?
   11. Is biblical counseling or discipleship only meant to be led by elders and pastors? What benefit is it for the congregation to be well-equipped?
   12. What do you do in a close relationship with an unbeliever when their idolatry is so pervasive that it handicaps your ability to encourage or express gratitude for fear they will use it to affirm, rationalize, and justify their harmful behavior?
   13. When correcting children, do you ensure they don’t just move their wrong responses to just outside your hearing?
   14. Lucia, how do you correct your husband, or do you?
   15. What is your advice on confronting someone who is always willing to confront or correct but doesn’t balance it with much, if any, encouragement?
   16. How long can a professing Christian live as a functional atheist before you question whether they have been truly born again?
   17. Please restate your instruction on the significance of who is the biggest sinner.
   18. What was the most difficult challenge as a wife? As a mother? While being thankful in all things, what in your life do you feel the most blessed by?
   19. What was your life experience before meeting and marrying Rick? What would your advice be to a young woman who has remained pure and hasn’t been previously married but is dating someone who has been? Do you have any life advice or tips that helped you in your relationship before and marriage to Rick?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).