Ep. 288 It’s Time to Start Bothering People for Your Good

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Shows Main Idea – It’s common for folks to think they are a bother to someone when they need help. This kind of thinking is problematic in the body of Christ. I’m not sure how to change that mindset since so many folks say it. They assume the person is busy, and they don’t want to “bother” them. Though I appreciate the show of respect and kindness to whatever may be happening in the discipler’s life, that perspective is counter-productive to the Christian mandate to make disciples.

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Show Notes

You may want to read:

• It’s Not “Are You Busy,” But How Do You Spend Your Time?
• The Benefit of Being Intentionally Intrusive in Your Relationships
• How to Have Authentic and Transparent Relationships

It hinders the Great Commission: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

There are two ways to bring health to the body:

• You being an active disciple-maker
• You letting others be active disciple-makers

An Analogy

• If you were sick, would you have the same attitude about seeing a doctor?
• How much more vital is your spiritual well-being?

Assume Busyness

Christians should be very busy, always doing the work of the Father. The un-busy Christian is an oxymoron. We are supposed to be doing the work of disciple-making, but if someone stops the flow of this work by inserting the notion of “being a bother,” then the Great Commission comes to a halt.

All discipleship opportunities are messy—to varying degrees—and take time to resolve. Rather than seeing it as a bother, you should think of it as an opportunity to spread the fame of God.

The Busy Person

As far as the busy disciple-maker, I have less respect for the non-busy Christian than the busy one. How could a Christian not be busy? A person’s busyness, assuming they know how to be “biblically busy,” should not deter anyone from asking for help.

I do realize that some people do not know how to “do busy well.” They are busy but scattered, disorganized, frenetic, afraid to say “no,” and without structure or a plan. Then there is “busy like Jesus,” which is a wholly-other kind of busy.

Breaking Down Busy

You can be busy like Jesus, and you can be busy like the culture; there is a difference—both quantitatively and qualitatively. Jesus was busy but strategic. For example, when someone tried to push his mother and brothers onto His calendar, He gave an other-worldly response: “Who is my mother and brother?”

His “quality of care” for His family did not diminish, as we see Him taking care of His mother at the cross. His quality of care increased as far as the scope (quantity) by meeting the needs of many more people than His family.

Let the Busy Decide

If the Christian is “rightfully busy,” he’s pneumatic (walking in the Spirit), enabling Him to make decisions that are illuminated by God, which keeps his priorities straight and his time managed. He dares to say “yes” or “no,” depending on what the need requires. Thus, the busy Christian must:

• Know how to say, “No.”
• Know when to say, “Yes.”
• Know their priorities: self, marriage, family, friends, church, etc.
• Have accountability for their time management.

Is It False Humility?

I don’t want folks making those decisions for me by not asking because they don’t want to bother me. It could be a sign of false humility:

• A way to keep from revealing a need
• A way to keep from being transparent
• A way to keep from exposing their vulnerability
• A way to keep from going through the grind of what help requires

Some folks hide behind a facade of humility when it’s really “unwitting pride” speaking.

Quenching the Spirit

It’s not their decision to make but the disciple-maker’s. Their quenching of the Spirit truncates the opportunities of the Spirit in the discipler’s life. If they have a need, God’s Word compels them to reach out to those they respect and have the competence to help them. If a person in need does not reach out,

• They remain isolated from help.
• They keep a brother or sister from the opportunity to step into what could be a God-moment.
• They become another “spirit” that determines what should happen in their situation.
• They grieve the Spirit by not following His prompting to find help.
• They don’t engage the body of Christ.
• They do not permit a brother or sister to use their gifts.

Call to Action

1. Do you have the courage to say “no” to someone who asks you to do something? If not, perhaps a desire for acceptance or fear of rejection controls you, which the Bible calls the fear of others.
2. Do you know how to get them help without it being you? Do you have a well-thought-out back-up plan for folks?
3. Do you know how to organize your life, time, and priorities?

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Rick Thomas

Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating.

In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in Counseling from The Master’s University. In 2006 he was recognized as a Fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC).