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Day 4 – Living Boldly: Forget About Self-Esteem

Day 4 – Living Boldly: Forget About Self-Esteem

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Let’s confront a popular but harmful idea: self-esteem. Our culture teaches that we need to esteem and think highly of ourselves. While it’s true that you should see yourself as a unique individual created in God’s image—what we call the Imago Dei, self-esteem, as the world defines it—putting yourself first—is a trap that elevates you while diminishes others. This way of thinking leads to internal frustration, external pride, and ongoing disappointment.

Life Over Coffee Devotions

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:36-40).

What the Bible Teaches

Biblical love for yourself is grounded in humility and wisdom—never devaluing the Imago Dei and determined to steer away from self-focus. The two great commandments in Matthew 22:36-40 remind us to love God and love others as we love ourselves. The assumption is we already love ourselves, releasing us to focus on loving God and others well. Turning inward, especially during hard times, will only increase despair (Philippians 2:3-4). Biblical success focuses on serving God and benefiting others, not elevating yourself above God and others.

A Personal Story

Perhaps you’ve been tempted toward self-focus because you don’t know any other way. That was true for me. My parents were inadequate leaders who violated and abandoned me, leaving me to figure out life on my own. I learned to be self-reliant, which seemed like a solution, but it kept me locked in a self-focused mindset. I became the proverbial dog thrown into a pond, told to sink or swim. I swam, but I did so in my strength, which only deepened my despair—the only outcome for the self-reliant soul.

It wasn’t until I was 25 that I learned my best life wasn’t found in myself but in someone else—Jesus Christ. That was the day God regenerated me, and I surrendered my life to Him. I soon stopped complaining about my circumstances, took responsibility for my choices, and trusted Him to change me. Submitting to Christ made all the difference.

The True Antidote to Self-Focus

If you want to find true value, stop trying to lift yourself up and respond to God by giving your life to Christ. He can do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Your worth and purpose aren’t found in other people’s opinions or your achievements but in the One who created you.

Instead of trying to feel better about yourself by looking inward or demanding validation from others, focus on serving God and loving those around you. As you pour out your life for Christ, you will find joy, purpose, and the fulfillment you’ve been longing for. Seeking satisfaction through any other means will only lead to despair.

Time to Reflect

  1. How has the self-esteem worldview influenced the way you think about yourself? Has it encouraged self-focus or reliance on God?
  2. How do you think finding your identity in Christ will change your desires, needs, and beliefs about yourself?
  3. Take time today to examine where you’re looking for your worth. Surrender your self-focused thoughts to Christ, and let Him show you how to live a life of service, humility, and joy. True freedom and fulfillment come when you stop striving to lift yourself up and rest in the love of your Savior.

Let’s live boldly, trusting God to transform your understanding of who you are in Him.

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